A friend captured this from Facebook.
“Chelsea are like Anwar’s Keadilan: Johnny-come-lately, pour lots of money to buy the premiership, passing fad. Man Utd like BN: timeless. Remember, form is temporary, class is permanent.”
ROTFLMAO!
ps: Arsenal.. (T_T)
I saw this when I was at the bank somewhere at Taman Megah last week. It was Saturday morning. Could not help to snap a photo haha! I actually saw a similar notice at another bank somewhere in Damansara Utama (Hint : Cibol is currently working at that bank :P) but I did not take any photo, could not be bothered at that time. I am distancing myself from this blogger acute syndrome, every piece of shit also want to take photo then blog about it… Haha!
RHB : Sorry! Machine Jem!!! (Jem kepala hotak! Jem boleh makan, contohnya jem nenas, jem strawberi, jem durian…) 05.Apr. 08
Customer 1 : Hello RHB, How can this (happen?) every weekend at most of yr (your) busy branches? disgusting service! (very long ! haha)
Customer 2 : Don’t just say sorry, get it work!
Customer 3 : YOU ARE A DISGRACE RHB! WHAT KIND OF SERVICE IS THIS!
Serve them right! How many times you went to banks during weekend (the only time we are have free time to do all the banking shits) and found their machine not working?
** The note was for the cheque deposit machine. Why cheque deposit machine always break down?
*************************************************
I received this in my Facebook wall. It is a fun read. Haha! Yeah, we are all suckers for these kind of things especially reading some good things about yourself, (although you probably know there are millions of people out there sharing the same ‘fate’ and ‘descriptions’) Anyway, do no take it seriously. It is good for laughs and therapeutic for your grotesquely inflated ego. ROTFLMAO!
1. ARIES – The Liar
(the Ram – 21 March – 19 April)
* A Flirt
* Outgoing.
* Lovable.
* Spontaneous.
* Not one to mess with.
* Funny.
* pritty good kisser.
* a little adorable.
* Loves relationships.
* Addictive.
* Loud.
2. TAURUS – The funny one
(the Bull – 20 April – 20 May)
* Aggressive.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Likes to give a good fight for what they want.
* Extremely outgoing.
* Loves to help people in times of need.
* AMAZING kisser.
* GOOD personality.
* Stubborn but a caring person.
* One of a kind.
* Not one to mess with.
* Usually are the most attractive people.
3. GEMINI – Irresistible
(the Twins – 21 May – 21 June)
* Nice.
* Love is one of a kind.
* Great listener.
* Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out, especially if someone comes between a friendship or relationship.
* Trustworthy.
* Always happy.
* Loud.
* Talkative.
* Extremely random and proud of it.
* Outgoing.
* VERY Forgiving.
* Loves to make friends.
* Has a beautiful smile.
* Generous.
* Strong.
* The Irresistible one.
4. CANCER – The Cutie
(the Crab – 22 June – 22 July)
* Most AMAZING kisser…Very high appeal.
* Love is one of a kind.
* Very romantic.
* Most caring person you will ever meet!
* Very creative.
* Outgoing.
* Extremely random and proud of it.
* Freak.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Spontaneous.
* Great at telling stories.
* Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out if it comes down to it.
* Someone you should hold on to.
5. LEO – The Lion
(the Lion – 23 July – 22 August)
* Great talker.
* Attractive and passionate.
* Laid back.
* Knows how to have fun.
* Is really good at almost anything.
* GREAT kisser.
* Unpredictable.
* Outgoing.
* Down to earth.
* Addictive.
* Attractive.
* Loud.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Talkative.
* Not one to mess with.
* Rare to find.
* Good when found.
6. VIRGO – The One that Waits
(the Virgin – 23 August – 22 September)
* Dominant in relationships.
* Someone loves them right now.
* Always wants the last word.
* Caring.
* Smart.
* Loud.
* Loyal.
* Easy to talk to.
* Everything you ever wanted.
* Easy to please.
* The one and only.
7. LIBRA – The Sexy one
(the Balance aka the scales – 23 September – 23 October)
* Nice to everyone they meet.
* THE BEST in bed
* Their Love is one of a kind.
* Fragile
* Silly, fun,funny and sweet.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Have own unique appeal.
* Most caring person you will ever meet!
* However not the kind of
person you want to mess with…you might end up
crying.
8. SCORPIO – The Addicted Oversexed Power Freak
(the Scorpion – 24 October – 21 November)
* EXTREMELY adorable.
* Psychotic When fucked around with
* Great in bed
* Intelligent.
* Loves to joke.
* Very good sense of humor.
* Energetic.
* GOOD kisser.
* Always get what they want.
* Attractive.
* Easy going.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Talkative.
* Romantic.
* Caring.
9. SAGITTARIUS – The Promiscuous One
(the Archer – 22 November – 21 December)
* Spontaneous.
* High appeal.
* Rare to find.
* Great when found.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* So much love to give.
* Not one to mess with.
* Very attractive.
* Very romantic.
* Nice to everyone they meet.
* Their Love is one of a kind.
* Silly, fun and sweet.
* Have their own unique appeal.
* Most caring person you will ever meet!
* Not the kind of person you wanna mess with because you might end up
crying.
10. CAPRICORN – The Passionate Lover
(the Goat – 22 December – 19 January)
* Love to bust.
* Nice.
* Sassy.
* Intelligent.
* Sexy.
* Irresistible.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Great talker.
* Always gets what he or she wants.
* Cool.
* Extremely fun.
* Loves to joke.
* Smart.
11. AQUARIUS – Does It In The Water
(the Water Bearer – 20 January – 18 February)
* Trustworthy.
* Attractive.
* GREAT kisser.
* One of a kind.
* Loves being in long-term relationships.
* Extremely energetic.
* Unpredictable.
* Will exceed your expectations.
* Not a Fighter, but will knock your lights out if it comes down to it.
12. PISCES – The Exotic One
(the Fish – 19 February – 20 March)
* Caring and kind.
* Smart.
* Center of attention.
* High appeal ( aka dead sexy)
* Has the last word.
* Good to find, hard to keep.
* Fun to be around.
* Extremely weird but in a good way.
* Good Sense of Humor!!!
* Thoughtful.
* Awesome lover.
* Loves to joke.
* Very popular.
* Silly, fun and sweet
Oh, I am The Promiscuous One? *Nelly Furtado’s Promiscuous playing in the background* But then again I love to be in long relationships?? Muahahahaha!
ps: Which one is you? The Addicted Oversexed Power Freak?? Haha! We can be friends :p *wink wink!
I watched “A Lot Like Love” that day on TV3. Yes I do no have Astro at home. Boycott Astro! Haha! No lah, it is hard to subscribe when you share the place with friends, you need a collective agreement to do things 😛 If I own the place I probably have it and then I will spend most of my time in front of the TV – Makan TV, Minum TV, Tidur TV. LOL!
I was reminded of “When Harry Met Sally” while watching this movie. After all, “When Harry Met Sally” is a legendary name in this particular genre – romantic comedy. If “When Harry Met Sally” raises the questions “Can men and women ever just be friends?” or “Can two friends sleep together and still love each other in the morning?” but in “A Lot Like Love” it asks the question “How long it takes for you to fall in love?” In this movie, a very long seven years!! Well, it takes some people years to fall in love at first sight, I guess. “A Lot Like Love” is not a cheap copy of “When Harry Met Sally” anyway. The story is very different.
In “When Harry Met Sally” the grand denouement of their long in the making couplehood happened when ‘Harry’ and ‘Sally’ finally do the ‘deed’ after his attempts to comfort her go one step too further than either character had anticipated. If you remember, this is where it all gets ugly for both characters until they finally realize they really do love each other and very much do deserve each other. We moviegoers knew going in that they will end up together so it was really a question of how and what would happen when they finally did hook up. Anything else regarding the characters or their lives was just gravy on the side that did not distract from Cupid’s grand design.
In “A Lot Like Love”, ‘Oliver’ and ‘Emily’ (Ashton Kutcher and Amanda Peet respectively) do the ‘deed’ practically from the first moment they meet and from there you are just left wondering why exactly they are not together. Throughout the years they keep meeting and they either do it or almost end up doing it but never quite making that connection that would lead to anything lasting. Somehow they fall in love but they still can not seem to get their bullshit together long enough to really be an item. (I was getting bored at this point. How longer of this is going on??) She is going to find herself and he is got this asinine diaper.com business he is trying to build. A lot is made of ‘Oliver’s master plan’ so that you are made to care about it nearly as much as his non-relationship with ‘Emily’.
“A Lot Like Love” deals with issues in real life. There are many people out there who feel pressured with the “master plan” of having a career, a wife/husband by the age of 30. Any of you out there can relate to this? 😛 I do not know a lot of guys that would continue following a girl around for that long. What are the odds? Hmmm…..If you think that love equals 10 dates over the span of 5 years and no sincere emotion then yes, this story was a lot like love. Muahahahahahaha!
Lesson of the day : Life is indeed short and a lot can happen when you are not paying attention. Enjoy every moment you can, and take some risks or you will be looking back on an awful lot of regret.
ps: I think I still love “When Harry Met Sally” more.
pss: I love this song very much I must post it up!
Jet – Look What You’Ve Done
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won’t sing for you
‘Cause all that’s left has gone away
And there’s nothing there for you to prove
Oh, look what you’ve done
You’ve made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Give me back my point of view
‘Cause I just can’t think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose
Oh, look what you’ve done
You’ve made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Oh, look what you’ve done
You’ve made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won’t sing for you
‘Cause all that’s left has gone away
And there’s nothing there for you to do
Oh, look what you’ve done
You’ve made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Oh, look what you’ve done
You’ve made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
I was lepaking with some friends last night for a little drinking session. A friend brought a bottle of scotch whisky –18 Year Old Macallan. Taste damn good haha! Very smooth.. I love it very much!
(Image source : http://www.uncrate.com/men/images/the-macallan-18-year.jpg)
Back to the story, we were waiting for the host to come. The whisky was on the table (he passed the bottle to another friend on the last meeting) as we waiting for the host to turn up, let me share some of our conversations.
Ah Chong : Eh, open the bottle lah! What are we waiting for?
Ah Tat : Not so good lah. Wait for the owner to come first.
Ah Kao : Yalah, wait for the owner first lah! Patience my friend.
Then Ah Kao looked at me..
Ah Kao : Let me ask you, how do you describe extreme patience?
Me : What extreme patience? Extreme Makeover I know. Muahahahahaa!
Ah Kao : Imagine a naked girl lying under a banana tree with her legs spread open waiting for the ripe banana to drop.
Me and the rest : …………………… *silence* Muahahahahhahahahhahaha! Hoi! Sexist joke lah! (Lucky all hamsap guys.. hehe.. Hmm.. no Suituapui, not what you are thinking :P)
Me : What lah you! Ripe bananas do no drop okay! You think like durians? Crap!
Ah Kao : Joke lah brader.. Come on lah. Okay.. another one. So how do you describe extreme pain?
Me : No idea lah. Getting nailed from behind kot. (Hoh! Me not homophobic okay, just joking lah.. kakakaka! Hmm, not only gays main belakang.)
Ah Kao : Imagine an ant sliding down a razor blade and the razor blade is positioned between its balls. Ouch!
Me and the rest : Ha! Ha! Ha! Very funny.
*****************************************************************
This is something men must know. For a relationship to last, to avoid arguments with women we as men must learn to read between the lines, hidden meanings, innuendos when they say these words.
1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
Right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
Minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
And you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
Usually end in fine.
4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you’re welcome.
8.) Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying FARK YOU!
9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s
wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.
Do not thank me. We are all in this together. So do not say I never warn you. Muahahahaha! Have a wonderful weekend my friends 🙂
I am bored. I watched videojug.com just now. Love the site, especially after Angeles put some of the videos from the site on her blog. Hilarious stuffs really. Very enlightening Haha! Hmm, I think I am quite good at writing ‘how to’ guides too! Should I try?? Try I must. If good response then I continue. If not I close shop. ROTFLMAO!
Lesson 101 : How to fart properly when going out on a date?
When driving around with your sweet heart and you need to fart..
1. Wind down the car window and said you need some fresh air.
2. Lean to her and kiss her forehead whilst releasing the gas.
3. Give it 5 minutes and then wind up the window saying need air conditioner, it is too hot..
Hehe!
Lesson 102 : How to pick your nose while on a date
A. In a car
1. Point to something. This is to distract her attention from looking at you.
2. Quick digging and retrieve action commence! Do it fast as time is running out 😛
3. Roll the minerals recovered.
4. Pretend to adjust the seat of the car whilst disposing the goods under the seat.
5. Pretend to rub your face with both hands whilst cleaning any leftovers.
B. Elsewhere
Follow step no. 1 – 3, step no. 4 replace with :
4. Keep the minerals hidden and dispose it ASAP when you get the chance. For example, ‘touching’ your hands along the walls, hand rails etc.
Continue step no. 5
Sekian terima kasih! Muahahahahaha!
ps : After sharing this, I think no one wants to date me anymore 🙁 ROTFLMAO!!
I am out of fire lately. I really do not know what to write. Bashing the government again? They are beaten to a pulp, so no point keep doing so. Let them dig their own grave and we bury them easy.
To be honest I am quite sick of Malaysian politics now. Same old story. Up to this day, BN still yet to wake up from their slumber and like usual, putting the blame on anyone but BN for their lose in recent election. One month after election, BN especially Umno appears to be still groping, unsure of what exactly has hit them.
Umno especially, never learn from their mistakes. One veteran politician in Umno obvious still living in the past and denial when he invokes the fear of “loosing political control to non-Malays”. He theorises that Penang, Perak and Selangor are already under non-Malay control. He arrives at this conclusion by numerically adding the non-Malays in PKR to those in DAP in the respective state governments.
This narrow interpretation of racial power is both illogical and unhelpful in forging racial integration. Malaysians are sick of racial politics! Especially it is twisted to benefit certain elite group in the society and hence many Malaysians reject the concept by BN where each ethnic must vote for a representative from the ethnic itself in order to have a ‘balanced’ representation in the government and decision making. Chinese – MCA, Indian – MIC and Malay – Umno. From what we see up to now, BN still in denial and clueless of what made nearly 50% of Malaysians voted against them.
This is some interesting statistics for Malaysia’s General Election 2008 if you do not already read it.
BN’s share of the popular vote in the peninsula actually dipped below the 50 per cent mark. The BN received just 49.8 per cent of the popular votes cast. For the whole country, the BN bagged 51.5 per cent of votes cast as more than 60 per cent of the residents of Sabah and Sarawak opted for its component parties. On the other hand, more than than 60 per cent of voters in KL and Penang voted for the Opposition’s parliamentary candidates.
More than half of the Malaysian population (52 per cent) live in areas where the Opposition triumphed – the five states under Opposition rule plus the Federal Territory of KL, which the Opposition swept as well. These areas accounted for 63 per cent of the total ballots issued.
These areas also account for 47 per cent of the bumiputera population. If only the ethnic Malays are considered, then 57 per cent of the Malay population now live in these Opposition areas. In addition, almost three quarters of Indian Malaysians reside in these areas.
In terms of economic wealth, these states account for 56 per cent of the country’s GDP. (Calculations based on figures obtained from the Mid-term Review of the Eigth Malaysia Plan.)
The Opposition-held areas include three of the wealthiest regions (in terms of per capita income) – KL, Selangor and Penang (though it must be noted that income disparities are wide) – and the two poorest states, Kelantan and Kedah.”
BN is sunk due to atrocious mismanagement of the country, not due to the Internet or what ever shits. It is not about Chinese votes, Indian votes, Malay votes, protest votes, bloggers, Internet but BN incompetence itself. No one is a bigger enemy to you but yourself. Idiots never learn I must say. Well, let them be.
On the not very encouraging reports of Pakatan Rakyat especially their bickering in Perak, Selangor and Penang over the representations in the new government these people must understand we voted for them not because Indians want an Indian exco to represent them and protect their interest, and Chinese vice versa. We voted for them to take care of all Malaysians regardless of race and religion.
So those who still think along the racial representation can F-off or join Barisan Nasional. We do not care and we never want these kind of leaders anymore. Anyway, I think it is fair enough to give 100 days to the new governments of Pakatan Rakyat in the five states to do whatever they need to do, spring cleaning, settle what ever problems they may have and start judging them later.
This is a freaking funny article by TV Smith.
Famous Last Words
by TV Smith
09/04/08
To commemorate the one-month anniversary of the Triumph Of Good Over Evil (not referring to Deepavali lah), let’s re-visit some of the famous lasting words dutifully cached by Google..
“People only sought information on matters like tourism on the Internet and from blogs” – Zam
“And during that time what has happened? We have sent a man to space, but PAS masih main bulan (is still playing with the moon)” – Najib
“An army can come but I know how to fight it out. The people in Sungai Siput are with me. They are my strength. I have strived for them and served them” – Samy
“Now this young punk Lim Guan Eng has fallen for Anwar’s sweet talk and is working in cahoots with him to convince Chinese voters to vote for the opposition” – Keng Yaik
“Do you think Penang people are stupid to support him (Guan Eng)? We Penangites are not stupid” – Pak Lah
“Huge Crowd At Lembah Pantai Ceramah Says It All For Pak Lah” – Bernama
[source]
“It’s nothing to do with Anwar. We have forgotten about Anwar. I don’t remember about Anwar” – Pak Lah
“The facts speak for themselves. Our report card is there for the community to judge. Over the past four years, we have delivered” – Ka Ting
“The Barisan is peaking now. We let them shoot and finish their bullets. Now we’re the ones with the bullets and we are chipping away at their arguments” – Keng Yaik
“BN is the best choice as the people have the easiest access to government machinery. This is important and I think BN will win big again this time” – Ka Ting
“The street protests may be about the right to demonstrate, but is also the quickest way to lose votes” – Chun Wai <— BEST QUOTE!
“They (the Opposition) thrive on petty issues…” – Adnan
[source]
“Umno has ruled Malaysia for 50 years and they can rule for another 50 years more. And Umno does not need PPP, MCA, MIC, Gerakan, Sabah, Sarawak or anyone else to do this” – Ali
“Datuk Seri Dr Mohamad Khir Toyo yakin kekuatan jentera Pemuda, Wanita dan Puteri serta BN negeri ketika ini cukup bersedia untuk menjadikan Selangor negeri sifar pembangkang (zero opposition) pada pilihanraya umum akan datang” – News Reports
(lifted from http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/090408_words.html)
bongkersz : Retards, have no mercy for them.
The hottest issue in the blogosphere and Malaysia (maybe the whole world) is ‘Math genius who turned life to vice’. Many blogs I went to blogged about it. Even in Facebook, there is a group created to ‘save’ her – Misi Selamatkan Sufiah! We also have politicians to embark on a mission to ‘guide her to to right path’ (Ha! Ha! Ha! Funny shiet!) I quote :
“Zahid Hamidi, the minister in the Prime Minister’s Department, said that they are interested to assist Ms Yusof to return to the right path through the “Save Sufiah Program.”
As usual, our government being not very smart up there, squealed to the opportunity to play ‘good guy’ without even thinking properly. This is crap, what we can offer to help her? Do we understand the environment she grew up with? The lifestyle they have? Why help her not others? Why dont we help those girls here first? We have the same problem here but we not looking into it. Why? Because Malaysian politicians are just too nosy (kepoh!!) and have nothing better to do!
Save those prostitutes, drug addicts, mat rempits, drop outs, beggars, unemployed graduates in this country 1st. Go to Jalan Tun Abdul Rahman or Lorong Haji Taib. (No I never been there ha ha!) Not forgetting there are plenty homeless, poor folks to help. Watch “Bersamamu’ on TV3 and you know what I am saying. Kuman di seberang laut jelas kelihatan, gajah depan mata tak nampak. Bahlol sungguh! What a joke!
The cost is too hefty. Government officials travel on business class say RM25k per person. 5 ppl? Is not this money better spent to help girls who is forced into prostitution? Those who need help are whom are forced but have desire to change. She voluntary involve herself to be a whore and proud of it. I quote :
“People think escorting is sleazy and terrible but I don’t see it like that,” she says. “I’ve always had a high sex drive—and now I’m getting all the sex I want—and guys are much better in bed with an escort than a girlfriend.
“I don’t have any regrets. I’ve never felt more confident about my body and I’ve had some of the best sex of my life.”
(source :http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/0604_hooker.shtml)
(http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/images/homepage/0604_hooker_01.jpg)
Well, this is how we can help her :
1. Send a whore who has been in the same position and realized she made a mistake and change her life 180 degree. They have more in common to relate.
2. Leave her and her family alone. The last thing they want is to be a national agenda of country they not a citizen of.
She will come to her senses. In two years, she will get herself out. She just making time for her lost childhood. She wants help, she will ask for it. Just leave her alone.
