WARNING: Graphic material. Idiots may be offended

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T H E S U F F E R I N G K U K U J I A O
screenplay by
BONGKERSZ
1st draft
February 03, 2009

DARKNESS. THE SOUND OF DOOR OPENING.

FADE IN:

INT. DIRTY TOILET – DAY (DIMLY LIT)

A man’s face BACKS INTO SHOT. He is tense and wide-eyed with concentration staring ahead.

This is THE MAN – mid-20’s, with brown, intense eyes, reasonably leng chai. He wears
a light brown jacket over a striped dark brown shirt. He has spiky dyed dark brown hair.

THE MAN’S POV –

The urine hitting the toilet bowl. Sounds — heavy stream of piss hitting the toilet water.

CLOSE ON THE MAN – LOW ANGLE FROM REAR

THE MAN is zipping his jean. Suddenly, (sounds — groan — swearing words — in Chinese accented English)

THE MAN

— Oh F**k! (expletive) —

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I am seriously sick and disgusted!! Why? Have you read the political news lately? I believe nobody will disagree with me when I say our political leaders and their party machinery are in the state of paranoia and getting more obsessed with power grabbing.

Our country, heck the whole world is facing a critical time and instead of moving the nation ahead in these turbulent economic times, these maggots are busy politicking!!

Meanwhile, the state was still rife with speculation that crossover talks had intensified.

Sources said that Barisan Nasional was wooing three more Pakatan elected representatives and in return Pakatan was targeting two Barisan assemblymen.

(Source: The Star)

(Source: Mob’s Crib)

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Thursday, Jan 22nd, 2009

12.15pm

Teet! (My mobile’s message tone.. ehe!)

Cibol: Me in Miri. Just landed.

Me: Oh? I’m still working today. Tomorrow take leave. Kenot meet now, after work can.

Cibol: Namind. Going back Bintulu later by bus.

5.00pm

Me: Eh, you in Bintulu oredi, dude?

Cibol: Yeap.

Me: Eh, I think I’m going to your place and stay for the night. Ok?

Cibol: Kam lah. What time you are coming?

Me: Later. Going back home now, packing then cabut. Planning to use the coastal road. Faster eh?

Cibol: Ya. Around 2 hours liddat can reach. Remember that no matter what happened, don’t stop on the road.

Me: Wah! Scary weh. Okeh.. noted. Around 9pm can arrive in Bintulu, if I am not sesat. Hehe!

Cibol: Got a lot of robberies mah.. Samun. Just don’t stop lah.

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[SWF]http://i.123g.us/c/ejan_chinese_celebrations/card/110006.swf, 468, 297[/SWF]

Wishing you a very Happy New Year!
May your Year of The Ox
sparkles with joy, happiness and good fortune!

ps: I am driving back to Sarikei tomorrow, hoping the roads are in good condition and passable. *sweats*

pss: Any of you that can drop by Sarikei, you are welcome to my place this Chinese New Year. I’ll be around from 24th-29th Jan. Just give me a call ya? If my house is too small to accomodate you, we can always find other place to hang out hehe..

psss: pss is applicable only if ps is going to happen.

Time for another senseless personality checkup. Click on the link below to know what does your birth date mean. LOL!

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Oh! bongkersz got flair.. and if he thinks it, he says it… that explained a lot of things muahahahaha! So, any of you addicted to me? Or do you wish that I am a little more reserved?

Hmm.. the world population is around 6.7 billion (July 2008 estimation), and out of that how many people share the same birthday as mine? So many ‘troublemakers’ out there. LOL!

ps: “If your birthday is any day except February 29, you share your birthday with approximately 1/365 of any population (0.274%).”

pss: Read about birthday paradox before?

psss: No fire. Just lazy. I’m going back for CNY this Jan 23rd. Please don’t flood the roads, else I need to row back home.

This is a conversation between me and one banking officer when I called their helpline for assistance.

Bank Officer: Good evening, sir. How may I assist you?

Me: Good evening. I am going to make a credit card payment but I forget my credit card number. Would you please check the number for me?

Bank Officer: May I know who is on the line please?

Me: Bong here.

Bank Officer: Okay Mr Bong. May I have your IC (Identity Card) number please?

Me: 8 2 1 1 ..

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“…am into the second season of Henry the 8th series- The Tudors. Very very interesting. Have to say Henry the 8th must be by far the most promiscuous and ruthless monarch of England.”

“Even the most promiscuous monarch by Western standards, would stand no chance against those Chinese emperors, or perhaps Malay Sultans in the old days with their dayang-dayang.. hahahahaha!”

“That’s why they die so early! LMAO! Too much sex kills you. Period! According to Chinese historians.”

“Sure or not?! I thought most Chinese emperors lived a long life? Question : Who is the most promiscuous man up to date? :)”

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