Lazy Friday. Time for another lazy post, I proudly copy-pasted this from a friend’s Facebook Notes. I know this thing has been making its rounds for a long time, but men-women love and hate relationship has not change much since the earliest day of humanity, no? When we are happily going around hunting for wild boar and fish, naked. Eating uncooked raw meat and chewing leaves, naked. Frolicking in the caves, naked. And probably the only thing that we knew and enjoyed back then was this – ‘Making Love of Nothing At All’.  Where has the love gone?

Come on! Sing with me. Making love… making love making love… *echos*

The Men’s Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally , the guys’ side of the story. ( I must admit, it’s pretty good.) We always hear ” the rules ” from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered “1 ” ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE) Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!

Just tell us what you want!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question..

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..because we don’t disturb you while you are watching your soaps and serials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We all do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will ! act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. !

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Racing or Football.

1. 1 You have enough clothes.

1. 2 You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape! Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that ? It’s like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can – to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can – to give them a bigger laugh

ps: Do you have anything else to add to the list? Do it for the sake of  human’s survival. The better we can understand each other, the greater chance to make this world a better place to stay. Making love.. making love.. making love..

pss: Enjoy your weekend, good people!

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I take punt on lottery every now and then. Yes, I failed my Maths on the Odd and Probability chapter that’s the reason I am punting Ehem, it’s the rush and the anticipation, non gamblers would not understand and it’s better that way, don’t need to understand for the good of you.

In the past, I would only buy when I passed by the lottery outlets and rarely made special trips just to buy lottery. Lately, I have some friends joining me in this ’super duper ridiculous long shot investment’ and I have means to buy it instantly without going to the outlets, *wink* so I have been buying lottery quite religiously.

I am not writing about ‘how to strike it rich‘ or ‘the good and bad about lottery betting‘ or ‘gambling and its repercussions’ in this post. What I am going to write actually is actually a little disturbing observation that I made, recently.

I always check the lottery results at this one website which is dedicated to all the punters like me where there is a forum, tips, past results statistic etc and all for all the users to check out. What tickles me is this…

As you know, gambling in any form is prohibited for the Muslims. Same goes to Christians, and Buddhists. And, hey no I am not trying to be judgmental here. I really hope I am not appearing like someone who is trying to mock any religion and its followers doings, by writing this post. No offense, if you perceive otherwise from reading this post, I’m truly sorry. (Er, why so nervous suddenly haha! Damn, it’s hard to be politically correct)

In this particular forum, I always see some Muslim forumers posting about tips and all that.  I wouldn’t know they are Muslims (well I actually can tell from the language they use lar) but it’s more funny to actually read some very ‘telling’ conversations among them. Some of the conversations that I find to be contradictorily funny are…

“Assalamualaikum bro… ada tips ke?” (Peace upon you brother, any forecast for lottery numbers?)

“Ok bro, aku gi solat jap, pastu baru aku gi tikam kat kedai.” (I want to for a prayer first, then I’ll punt some numbers)

“Insya Allah, mudah mudahan kena lah nombor nie” (God willing/If it is God’s will we will strike the lottery)

It’s a little bit funny, don’t you think? So far I haven’t read anything along the line “Syukur alhamdulillah, aku kena first prize Toto4D!” (Praise to God, I struck Toto4D’s 1st prize!) yet, but it would be really weird to read that in that kind of forum.

It is easier to identify someone who is of Islam faith than other religion, because of the phrases they tend to use in their daily conversation. Christians don’t go ‘Praise Lord Jesus’ or ‘Amen’ and Buddhists don’t go ‘Namo Amitabha Buddha’ in their daily conversations, I think. That’s the difference and of course, I’m not on purpose selectively write about Islam followers straying from their religion rules or anything. Just that, they are more easy to be identified.

Normally, you would not want to let people know your ‘little background’ when you are doing something which is not right and against your belief system, right? You just don’t want people to know who you are, what are your affiliations or just anything that may incriminate you while doing the ‘crime’.

Put it this way, say you are the  most famous spokesperson for Pepsi and everybody knows you for that reason, you wouldn’t want people to see you sipping Coca Cola and even if you do, you are going to make sure anyone around you don’t know you are a spokesperson for Pepsi, right? A policeman would not wear his police uniform while he’s robbing a bank, right? Eh, wait.. that idea may work just fine, perfectly. LOL!

Let me try again, a Christian priest would not wear his collared coat and bring a Bible with him if he decides to stray and screw some hot chicks at a brothel, right? A Buddhist monk would not go and eat fried chicken at KFC or chewing double cheese burger at Mc Donald wearing his saffron robe, right? Geddit?

I don’t really understand people, sometimes. Full of contradiction, often hilariously funny yet absurdly weird and controversial. Well, life is a contradiction at times – as are we!

ps: “Do what you will, this world’s a fiction and is made up of contradiction” – William Blake

pss: Please keep your comments civilised and proper okay?

I was having my lunch just now, nearby my offfice at this Chinese kopitiam. Sitting no far to the left of my table was a group of female students. Nothing interesting about the girls, too young for me to check out, and really not worth checking out anyway.

What distracted my attention a bit was that, they were smoking like chimneys. Not that I care what they want to do with they money they scammed off their parents, but I remember back in my times (it wasn’t really that long ago…) students would not so daringly puff their ciggaretes in the public, especially if they are still wearing their school uniform.

These girls, wearing their school uniform with the school logo attached to their pinafore have no qualms about smoking in public, just like that. I would say there are probably 15 or 16 years old. Maybe younger, as sad but true for females who smokes, over time they tend to look older. Age catching up with them faster than their males counterpart. It’s just a biological thing, they way our body works.

What’s more intruguing was, not long after I sat down and ate my lunch, another group of female students walked past and stopped by the coffee shop. My back was facing the main door, so I couldn’t see their faces, but I heard their voices.

The uncle manning the noodles stall was heard asking one of the girl “Eh, you are smoking too?“, which the girl replied, “Yes.” Then one of the girl from the group sitting on the left table not far from me remarked, “Hey, Flora I thought you are not smoking?” Flora coolly replied her, “Oh, lately I am feeling a bit stressed” (zui4 jing4 wo3 hen3 fan2)

I nearly choked on my noodle hearing that. What stress? How stress can a secondary student be? Little girl, you have no idea what is ’stress’. You probably don’t even know how to write the word ‘?’ – fan2. Wait until you get out from school and learn the real meaning of ’stress’ in life.

ps: I don’t know how to write the word fan2 either, I googled it up. Me write and read no Chinese larrrrr~!

pss: I never thought I would write on something like this, about smoking and all. Who am I to judge? I smoke every now and then and only when I hang out with smokers (not smokers in Left4Dead game.. er nevermind about that haha!) but, when I was leeching money from my parents, I never smoked. Earn your own moolah to burn it, geddit?

psss: On a totally non related note, it feels weird seeing a Caucasian looking girl singing a Mandarin song, so good and perfect. Her name is Celina Jade, I found her while watching Legendary Assassin that day.

pssss: Mel, this post is dedicated for you, er just the song part la. Ngegeh!

It is Friday. It’s been a while since I write anything not so serious.

I was not feeling well this whole week. Starting on Sunday night, I was already having mild sore throat.  I blame the hot and erratic weather in Miri. It is so freaking hot at times, I spent most of the time wandering naked in my room. Back to the nature, the basics mah! Ooopss.. too much details.

Yes,  so damn hot, I put two fans in my room blasting directly at my kukujiao body. The worst thing was, the air I sucked in for the past weeks smelled so bad, as it was coming directly from the burning pits. It’s like walking around, puffing 20 ciggaretes  at a time. Fuck those stupid morons for burning craps and add to the worsening hazy, hot weather.

I need to rant a little bit about my landlady. She’s so grumpy, I hope if I am at her age and behaving like her, my friends will give a me hand by putting me to sleep. Well, perhaps I should go to Switzerland, I heard euthanasia is legal there.

Okay, the weather was damn hot (Er, been repeating that for few times now like a nagging housewife, ahaks!), so there were times when I was out of the house at night, I left the fans on and the windows open. I seldom locked my room, I just hate the process of taking out your keys, unlock and lock bla bla bla. Screw me!

So there was one time, I left the room unlocked, the fans on and the windows open. My room is on the 2nd floor. The landlady was at home, all the time. When I came back around 30 mins later, the landlady was at the living room, waiting for me (presumably) and talked to me in an annoying voice “You should switch off your fans everytime you go out.” To that, well I said “Yes“, because I was at wrong for leaving the fans switched on (although arguable) but I didn’t want to explain much. Then she continued “Since you have a new fan, the old fan you should give it back to me. My son wants to use it.” I replied “Okay” and moved upstairs, while thinking “Who cares about the stupid small fan anyway. You should just be clear that you don’t want me to waste the electricity with so many fans I am using, need not to beat around the bushes“.

What pissed me off was, I found out my room was locked and the fans were switched off. So she went into my room, switched off the fans and locked the room. Well, I get it that she’s the owner of the house and she has keys to my room, but does that means she can go into my room as she likes? Respect lah my privacy.

What’s your take? Is it acceptable to you that a person can just go into your room without asking you, although she or he has a certain authority over the place you are staying?

ps: Yeah, I know. Too much rain, complain.. Too hot, also complain. Never to appreciate anything eh?

pss: I had other previous ‘encounters’ with the landlady, this is just one of it. Well, cannot tahan already, so must rant a bit.

pss: Yes, this post serves no point. This is truly a crappy, useless post. But I bet you like it.

Saturday May 9, 2009
Female reps accuse DAP and PKR of sexual harassment

IPOH: Several Barisan Nasional female assemblymen and their independent comrade Hee Yit Foong have claimed that they were manhandled by DAP and PKR assemblymen during Thursday’s assembly sitting.

The group claimed that the fracas that ensued left them fatigued with body aches and that the physical scuffle was tantamount to sexual harassment.

Sungai Rapat assemblyman Datuk Hamidah Osman said that Barisan’s five female representatives, including herself, became victims of vicious attacks when they tried to protect Hee from being harassed by the Opposition.

“There were definitely elements of sexual harassment because they came and grabbed us from the back,” she said yesterday, adding that she might lodge a police report.

WTF? Who in their right mind would want to sexually harass these fuck-faces, especially Hamidah Osman and Hee Yit Foong? They are not remotely attractive and no way near ‘average’ look, but obviously fugly beyond doubt and I just can’t imagine if anyone would have sexual thought when they see these two failed human specimens. I would rather molest an ianimate flower pot! Give me a cockroach anytime over these two

Now, pardon me for putting these repulsive photos.. but, would anyone wants to sexually harass these two women? Raise your hand!

*puke uncontrollably* damn, there goes my keyboard…

*Double puke* Get a fucking mirror, puh lease?

It’s been a while since I insult anyone..

“Hamidah Osman and Hee Yit Foong,  your face is so ugly that when robbers break in your house and you yell “Rape!”, they would yell “NO!”. Please don’t go to the top of the Empire State Building unless you want people screaming “King Kong is back!” You are so ugly that whenever you walk into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras. Why don’t two of you join an ugly contest? Wait.. they would say “Sorry, no professionals.” Somebody should push your face into the dough to make gorilla cookies. Hey, actually you know what? Both of you are so ugly inside out, that words can’t explain. No word is worthy to describe the ugliness of you. So I should just go throw up.”

Hidung tak mancung pipi tersorong sorong. Speaking as a man (with acquired taste and sound working mind), Hamidah Osman and Hee Yit Foong are the fugliest women I have laid eyes on, physically and personality wise. So repulsive that I wouldn’t to be in the same room with them, even if you paid me. Only BN goons would know how to truly appreciate fugliness, just like how Najib appreciates Rosmah.

What sexual harassment? First of all, a definition of sexual harassment in the Malaysian Labour Laws:

4. SEXUAL HARRASSMENT

4.1 What Is Sexual Harassment?

* Sexual harassment means any unwelcome verbal, non-verbal, visual, psychological or physical conduct of a sexual nature that might, on reasonable grounds, be perceived by the victim as placing a condition of a sexual nature on his or her employment because of his or her sex.

* Sexual harassment may also consist of an unwelcome verbal, non-verbal, psychological or physical conduct of sexual nature that might, on reasonable grounds, be perceived by the victim as an insult or humiliation, or a threat to his or her well-being, and has no connection with his or her employment.

* Sexual harassment in the office includes work related harassment which happens outside the office. Such work related harassment may includes situations taking place at work-related social gathering or functions, conferences, workshop or training sessions and during work assignments outside the office.

*Sexual harassment in the course of work-related travel is also considered sexual harassment in the office. Where sexual harassment occurs as a result of employment responsibilities or relationship over the phone and through electronic media, it is also considered sexual harassment in the office.

It’s pathetic that, not only they are not gifted with good looks, but looks like these women are really dumb too. What a life to live when you are fugly and dumb, I hope it’s not a miserable one. These women has no efffing clue what is sexual harassment in the first place, yet they were fast to cry wolf.

ps: No offense to ugly people. Who am I to judge, heh?

pss: Not encouraging any form of sexual harassment, whether the victim is attractive or fugly.

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Rejoice people! This is totally unexpected, after the ugly drama in Perak for the past few weeks.

Court rules Nizar as legitimate MB
May 11, 09 10:54am

The Kuala Lumpur High Court today paved the way for a fresh round of battle in Perak by declaring that BN’s Zambry Abd Kadir was not the legitimate menteri besar of Perak.

Lim Kit Siang, twitting the court ruling:

1. judge rejects stay appln
2. zambry counsel applying for stay of declaration
3. judge declares nizar lawful mb
4. judge – mb can only be dismissed by no confidence motion in assembly
5. judge – assembly never had no confidence motion, material
6. judge – mb can request dissolution without having lost majority
7. judge upholds stephen ningkan judgment
8. judge rejects ag’s ‘deeming’ argument – no ambiguity in constitution
9. judge says perak constitution does not contemplate mb dismissal by sultan
10. judge says once mb appointed by sultan, mb is answerable to assembly

(Source: http://twitter.com/limkitsiang)

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Tags: Court Ruling, Datuk Seri Mohammad Nizar Jamaluddin Datuk Seri Mohammad Nizar Jamaluddin, Kuala Lumpur High Court, Perak

Close your eyes and just listen to this…

Beautiful, don’t you think?

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