My Poor Kukujiao..
WARNING: Graphic material. Idiots may be offended
****************************************
T H E S U F F E R I N G K U K U J I A O
screenplay by
BONGKERSZ
1st draft
February 03, 2009
DARKNESS. THE SOUND OF DOOR OPENING.
FADE IN:
INT. DIRTY TOILET – DAY (DIMLY LIT)
A man’s face BACKS INTO SHOT. He is tense and wide-eyed with concentration staring ahead.
This is THE MAN – mid-20’s, with brown, intense eyes, reasonably leng chai. He wears
a light brown jacket over a striped dark brown shirt. He has spiky dyed dark brown hair.
THE MAN’S POV –
The urine hitting the toilet bowl. Sounds — heavy stream of piss hitting the toilet water.
CLOSE ON THE MAN – LOW ANGLE FROM REAR
THE MAN is zipping his jean. Suddenly, (sounds — groan — swearing words — in Chinese accented English)
THE MAN
— Oh F**k! (expletive) —
****************************************
Yes. I choked my penis. Wait. Not choke. I ‘scratched’ it. How it happened? Well well.. I wear boxer shorts most of the time as I prefer boxers over briefs. For me, it is more comfortable. Hmm, could be because it is more ”windy and loose”. Hey we men don’t need our manhood to be supported, perked in place like the ladies. We love it hanging free. Ha! Ha! Ha!
I have this one particular boxer that I love very much so despite the boxer losing its button (the only button to trap your kukujiao in) I still wear it. So on that day, during CNY visiting after having too much drinks I went to toilet and did my small business as scripted above.
After finished my small business and in a middle of hurrying to join my friends outside, I zipped my jean without realising I had some of the shaft of my kukujiao peeking out of my zipper through the ‘unsecured’ boxer. I zipped up my zipper, and it zipped up over the skin of my shaft!! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
I frozed on the spot, thinking I would spend a longer time in the toilet playing releasing my kukujiao from its agony. But, somehow I managed to unzipped it after few tries and muffled cries. Sob sob sob!
The result: A little grooves, that look like small scratches, kinda hurt if you touch the area.
(Image not to scale, already scale down to fit your monitor’s screen).
Sorry, no real photos.. this is the best I can do. No need to thank me for saving you from ‘eye-burn’.
Well, it healed perfectly if you ask, that is why I am posting this, else I would be busy nursing it no? All is good with my kukujiao now. Long live the kuku!
ps: You like your guy with boxer or brief? *wink wink!*
pss: Handle kukujiaos with care, irrespective of the owner.
ehe. ehehe. guess you never tried the stunt of going commando while wearing jeans. 😛
ehe. ehehe. guess you never tried the stunt of going commando while wearing jeans. 😛
art work can do some photoshopping . ahaha =P
put a disclaimer : does not show actual size. lol!
er.. i did bro. actually.. many times. going to mamak going commando wearing shorts or jeans. yes. haha!
while you people always commenting 2-3 times? 😛
of course it’s not actual size! ok disclaimer is up. hahaa! 😀 😀 ➡
clicked reply first time. then wanted to add some more, so hit the stop button. then click reply. thats how. lol.
hehehe
scratching penis makes me feel good … haha
a song titled “The Bongkersz” is dedicated to you at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-Wd1sPzhYg&feature=channel_page
hope you like it
*biting nails*
the song can be downloaded in mp3 at
http://www.diary.cadenza.org/azer-mantessa/the-bongkersz.htm
Stop scratching your penis. Wait.. you are sratching your penis or your balls? 😕 😕 😯
LOL!! Why the video like that????!!! Why it is titled The Bongkersz??? And… the song is… creepy..!! What with those fellas tattoed head. SI? So cryptic man! Thanks anyway, so sweet of you 😀 😀 .. but, what’s the meaning of the video??? HAHAHAHAAAA!
I wear boxers too, but this has never happened to me before, but many years back, I got it stuck when I slammed a chest of drawers.
(i wont go into details)
No worries Bong it heals very fast.
a chest of drawers. that’s a pun? 😛
Nope, I am afraid it was literal, I was rummaging for something in the drawer and my lover surprised me by sneaking up on me , and the next thing you know, Slam !
🙄 sakittttt!
so, how many days tak boleh……..?
hehehe … i discovered scratching balls when i was a kid BUT not sure of the feeling. later, when i grew up … scratching penis was a discovery … i finally found the other function of … errm … penis … LOL
The SI on the forehead … sumthing i can’t erase. it’s from a freeware facegen modeller … downloaded it from tucows.com
the video is my experiment on the freeware. yes the sound i made a bit pop freeky and once i heard it … i thought of the word ‘bongkersz’ which is a cool word … so there … it’s dedicated to you … haha
:???:Aku pernah kena swollen ball, how that..
kena sepak training silat, aiyooo sakit kat seminggu lo… 😀
wakakakakaakak…Anti histamin…hmmm….. 😛
So that’s an engineer’s artistic reprentation of his kukujiao. Looks like pencil! Too bad didn’t swell like longkang’s foot. Sure happy so big…for once! LOL! Nasib zip not rusty, get tetanus, have to cut off! Tragic! Hahahahaha!
Sry Bongkersz.. Can you send me your e-mail address.. haha 😎
Haha! Sorry I know this is no laughing matter, but could not help it! I had this accident too when I was a kid. Damn painful! It took weeks to heal! Since then, I always very careful when go pee. Btw, I don’t fancy boxers : )
Hahahahhahaha! NOT TO SCALE!
Oh man, were you that drunk? Lucky boleh pull down, imagine involving everyone else. Aduh, it would take a while before they can shut it.
Brief. I prefer my balls and shaft to be parked at designated area. Like car la, if you cincai park double, sure kena scratch.
Check you mail! 😆
Ugh! Ouch! Ouch! Rummaging for ‘safety cover’? HAHA! I bet your gf took good care of your chiao chiao after that LOL!
Boleh lah! Scratch sikit saje…
ps: mesti exeggerate sikit tulis kat belog.. 😛
owh! i thought that SI is something cryptic 😛 thanks man!!!!!!!!!! now I have a video and a song of my own hee yaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! 😆 😆
ouch! ouch! reading that already rasa sakit… 🙄 🙄 bahaya tu beb.. kene urut selalu. hhhhhhhhhaaaaahhaahahaaaa
oi! itu tak ada kaitan lah! anti histamine is for allergy.
wahahahaha! yes! luckily zipper not rusty!! cut it off, the world may
moanmourn the loss.. ROTFLMAO!that’s using paint mah! engineers are not artistic.. as long as the message is delivered it’s fine with them 😛 only architects so anal about being artistic hehee
it took weeks? then it must be really bad 😀 mine no problem already kakakakakaka!
be careful when exposing your kukujiao… not only when go pee. ehe!
i don’t think any of my friends out there would help me pull it down.. 😛 would you? LOL!!!!!!!!!
you treat your kukujiao like a car. cool! only park at designated area. *wink winK!*
Men in boxers are sexy 😉 I like wearing boxers too 😛
Rili??? Maybe should pose with boxers then 😛 Yeah, I know a girl loves wearing boxer too. Comfy she said..
i say man, your kukubit looks like a crayon with mouldy stuff at the end. don’t clean your stiff, sure kena!!!
Yalor! Very comfy indeed 🙂 esp male boxer 😐
u forced me to see yr kukujiao. Oops! Ok la, still in time to cure it for valentine.
ouch .. sakitnyer
eagle down ! need backup …
huhu
oi! me where got show you my kukujiao! psst, this comment written using nk 5800 at your shop kakaka!
haha! eagle is good now. flying high! :p