Tonight..

I won’t hesitate no more, no more..

It cannot wait, I’m yours..

Well no no..

Well open up… and

Let me see…

I try to be chill but…

You are so hot that I melted..

I’ve been spending way too long checking my….

And bending over backwards just to try….

There’s no need to complicate

Our time is short..

This is our fate..

I’m yours… Ahhhhh.. I’m yours…

OH MEIN GOTT!!! I just butchered a beautiful song… I am so sorry… I love this song very much. I can’t stop listening to it.. Especially the intro part.. Yum yum… so ‘summer-ish’..

Saw this at BUUUUURRRRNING HOT and The Sensintrovert, couldn’t help but to poke fun at it.

(click to view full image size)

Police to halve compound fines for traffic summonses

KUALA LUMPUR: Effective Tuesday, police would halve the compound fines for traffic summonses, except those for serious offences, said Federal traffic chief Senior Asst Comm II Datuk Hamza Taib.

He said the move was to ease the burden on the lower income group after the recent price rise in petroleum and food items.

The 50% discount is applicable for those who receive the summons on the spot and pay them before or on the last day of the 30-day deadline.

“Offenders who have yet to pay their summons and have not received letters summoning them to court are eligible for a 30% discount.

“Those who have received the court summons are not eligible for any discount,” he told reporters Monday at the Traffic Police Headquarters, Bukit Aman.

Traffic offenders receiving their summons via the post are eligible for a 30% discount regardless of when it was issued.

He said the discount offer was ongoing and no deadline had been set.

Asked if the discounts would encourage motorists to flout traffic laws, he said police were confident the gesture would spur them to learn from their mistakes and not repeat them.

“Even before this, the rich might not think much of paying a RM300 fine. Our focus is to try and ease the burden on the lower- and middle-class group,” he said.

He said those issued summonses during Ops Sikap, for jumping the red light, for accidents as well as those issued arrest warrants were not eligible for a discount.

SAC Hamza said he was confident that the new incentive could help improve the summons payment rate, recorded at 70% at the end of last year.

He added that about12,000 traffic summonses for various offences were issued every day nationwide.

The public can pay their summons via the Internet at www.myeg.com.my and www.rilek.com.my via credit card or debit card. Portal users are urged to print a receipt of payment and keep it for future reference.

Cash payment is accepted at all police headquarters and district police stations and counters at select shopping malls.

(Source: The Star Online)

The traffic summonses discount sale is here AGAIN!! Now, you can go and pay your traffic summonses…

ps: Ok, it’s trivial.. I just have NBTD – Nothing Better To Do.

(Image source: TV Smith)

This is too funny… Nyahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Take note, next time if you have constipation problem, your doctor may ask you some ‘disturbing questions’ such as:

You: Yor Doc, I have trouble passing my crap for the pass few days. I feel constipated.

Doctor: Errm..hrmm hmm… Did you have anal sex before?

You: No!

Doctor: Did you ‘accidentally’ put any object in your anus before?

You: Of course not!

Had you been sodomised?

Me:

ROTFLMAOWLKITA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From NST:

Police classify case as sodomy

KUALA LUMPUR: The sexual assault report against Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim has been classified as sodomy.

This was the first time police have revealed that investigations had started after earlier saying that the allegations were mere heresay.

Yesterday, Deputy Inspector-General of Police Tan Sri Ismail Omar put to rest speculation about the investigations.

“The case has been classified as sodomy,” he told the New Straits Times, adding that he could not comment further as investigations were still going on.

It was, however, learnt that police had classified the case as sodomy after receiving the medical report on the accuser, Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan, who was an aide to the Parti Keadilan Rakyat de facto leader.

On Sunday, Federal CID director Datuk Bakri Zinin had urged the public not to speculate on the case, saying police needed time to probe the allegations, which at the time, were merely hearsay.Mohd Saiful, 23, had lodged a police report on Saturday, alleging that he had been sodomised by his boss, Anwar, several times.On Monday, police forensics personnel were seen going into a unit at the Desa Damansara condominiums here in Damansara Heights, where the alleged incident took place.

On allegations by a relative of Mohd Saiful that several police stations had earlier refused to accept his report after he named Anwar as the “assailant”, Ismail said they were investigating that claim.

Mohd Saiful, meanwhile, is believed to be under police protection. His family claimed that they have had no news from him ever since he lodged the report on Saturday night.

Checks yesterday also revealed that doctors at the Kuala Lumpur Hospital, after a battery of tests, found indications that Mohd Saiful had engaged in anal sex.

The New Straits Times learnt that doctors had taken stool samples for further investigation.

It was believed that Mohd Saiful had also complained of constipation when he was taken to the Hospital Kuala Lumpur outpatient ward.

Doctors, however, found something amiss during the check-up and upon questioning Mohd Saiful, learnt that he had been sodomised.

Checks on the Internet reveal that acute or forced sodomy can cause constipation. A University Malaya Medical Centre doctor said fear, mental trauma and the physical act could have caused the constipation.

“An anal tear and the pain could have resulted in the victim having difficulty in passing motion.”

HAHAHAHA! What? Checks on the Internet? Imagine this reporter googling ‘constipation+sodomy’. Hmm.. contrary to popular beliefs that anal sex ‘loosen’ the passage and make it easier for you to crap, it will cause constipation? I am enlightened again! For all this while I thought constipation happenned because either you have piles, lack of fibre or didn’t drink enough water!!! Pardon my ignorance.

Then, since when a person suffering from constipation need to go to the Kuala Lumpur General Hospital to be checked? Go normal general practitioner will do lah! An enema will solve the problem. So many DOCTORS to check on constipation instead of a doctor.

Community message from The Flaccid Mind :

Stay away from hammering someone’s backside or allowing back entry. It is CONSTIPATING.

Warning by the government of Malaysia

Under Section 377A of the Penal code, ‘any person who has sexual connection with another person by the introduction of the penis into the anus or mouth of the other person is said to commit carnal intercourse against the order of nature’.

The offence is punishable by a jail term of up to 20 years and whipping, as stated under Section 377B.

Layman term: In layman speak, it means it’s a crime for any man to engage in anal sex or penile oral sex — fellatio aka blowjob, consensual or not.

Wait… what a sexist law!! Discriminating against men… note the ‘penis’ word. If you look at the way it’s phrased, it looks as though it’s only the men, the person who inserts the penis into the mouth of another, who will be prosecuted. It means the woman will go scot free, whether it’s consensual or otherwise???

ps: NH, ini lah time kalau ada awek doctor, ko boleh tanya.. benda-benda technical 😛 Then aku sebagai kawan, boleh tumpang tanya jugak! Usaha lagi!

*ROTFLMAOWLKITA- Rolling on floor laughing my ass off with legs kicking in the air.

I love Pak Lah a lot. It is damn obvious right? If not, why I always talk about him, quoting him? He is my idol!! Numero Uno! I must put it to him, because I learn how not to say things like him.. for it may be used against me in the future.

“Ibarat meludah ke langit, terpercik ke muka sendiri.” (You spit into the air and the excretion drops on your face, messed.)

Lesson for today: Narcissism Denial is necessary.

Rosmah Mansor vs RPK:

Rosmah: I am innocent

KUALA LUMPUR: Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor said she was innocent of the allegation in a statutory declaration that she was present when the body of Mongolian translator Altantuya Shaariibuu was disposed of.

“If you are innocent, what is there for you to address? I am not a politician and I am not running for any post. I’m just the wife of a politician,” she said, when asked why she would not address such a serious allegation.

Najib vs Anwar Ibrahim:

Najib denies being involved with sodomy allegations against Anwar

KUALA LUMPUR, MON:

Datuk Seri Najib Razak denied that he had anything to do with the sodomy allegations against Parti Keadilan Rakyat de-facto leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim.

“I am not involved at all in this case. I am not behind it. The most important thing is, did the act take place? That is for the police to investigate,” he said at a press conference at the parliament lobby today.

What Abdullah Ahmad Badawi said?

Abdullah vs The Accused:

“The police are the ones who will determine whether the report is true or not. It is not something that we can determine. He will definitely deny it. That is common for someone who has been accused.”

Thank you for such enlightening piece of crap.

Wait.. but then Pak Lah also said something else.. He was fast to come to Najib’s and Rosmah’s rescue after RPK made the explosive statutory declaration recently.

“Raja Petra’s actions are unacceptable. It is not right,” Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi told reporters Tuesday. “I don’t believe that Najib and Rosmah are involved.“

The investigation yet to be carried out on the statutory declaration, but Pak Lah already absolved his ‘friends’. That’s weird. He knows things that we don’t? He should have said he does not believe that Najib and Rosmah did it, but since an affidavit has been signed, a proper investigation must be carried out.

Here, the ‘accused’ need not to defend themselves / deny the accusation. Their ‘good friend’ did. Er, how is that fit with the line ‘He will definitely deny it. That is common for someone who has been accused.”?? Oh, I know..

“His/her friends will definitely deny it for him/her. That is common for friends of someone’s who has been accused” (That’s what friends for right? Gotchu bek, moyte!! So I can stab your back. )

What do all of you think about Najib’s answer regarding to the “victim” picture taken in his office?

Najib: I have no link to Anwar’s accuser or case

KUALA LUMPUR: Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak said he was not connected in any way to the sodomy allegations against Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim.

Parti Keadilan Rakyat officials had on Sunday attempted to tie Najib to Anwar’s accuser by producing a picture of the latter in the foyer of the deputy prime minister’s office.

“I am not involved at all in the case. The picture was taken three months ago.”

Najib said the Anwar aide who made the allegations had come to his office on Feb 12 seeking help to obtain a scholarship from the government.

“He was a student leader and met my officer. He also took pictures with other leaders,” he said at the Parliament lobby yesterday after chairing a meeting of the cabinet committee on foreign workers.

Elaborating in a statement to Bernama, Najib said the aide was a former student of Universiti Tenaga Nasional (Uniten) while the officer in the photograph was responsible for, among other things, higher education.“It is normal for guests, particularly students, who come to the office of the deputy prime minister to pose for photographs with officers as a record of their visit.”

(Source: NST)

Now, I am very very curios. How on earth that he would come out with an answer that the “victim” came to his office for his assistance to obtain government scholarship?

1) The victim is a drop-out of UNITEN…why he need a scholarship? From NST – Accuser a varsity dropout:

Spain beat German 1-0 to lift Euro 2008 title. To Spain and its supporters, congrats!!

To borrow a friend’s words: “That’s it. The end of perennial underachieving era.. Viva Espana!”

I was watching the game last night, and dozed off halfway through the second half. Watching football games alone not fun at all.

To German supporters – Cibol, NH and Melbie: It is a jinx! World Cup finalist, Euro finalist.. still, it is a better achievement than Oranje

ps: Liverpool supporters sure have something to brag now.. he he he… 

People.. get this right..

When Pak Lah said the government has nothing to do with the latest sodomy accusation against Anwar Ibrahim, what he is trying to tell us exactly??

You must know this man. He is not able to say thing as it is.. He is the master of cryptic, his words are more ambiguous, full of hidden and mystifying meanings than Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code. This is one damn talented guy we are talking about here. You constantly need to crack your head to figure out what exactly he is saying. Most of the time, he is making no sense, so do not worry or disheartened if you cannot understand him. Sure, you can always call him a pathological liar, if you have diamond encrusted balls..

At first it is hard to read him. After a while, you will see the pattern. You will get better by experience..

I am not very sure what exactly he is saying.. especially when he said unnecessary thing like this:

“I believe even my friends like (Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri) Najib (Tun Razak) did not … PM: BN not behind latest sodomy allegation against Anwar ..

“The government has no intention of wanting to make life difficult for him or to harass him,”

Don’t you think it is funny when he said those things? Especially on Najib, how the government never instruct the police to take any action against Anwar and has no intention of wanting to make life difficult for him. Why the need to explain so much when so little questions were asked? Yes I watched the interview on TV3 just now.

Why he needs to say so many things? OMAIZGOAT!! He is trying to say something but as usual he doesn’t know how to put it.. It is a cipher and you need to decode it, like always. It takes a very smart man to do things like him. Yes, he has problems putting things as there are. You do not believe me? Let’s see:

1. When he said the news about him going to re-marry was just a baseless rumour, it actually meant the news was true. Yes he re-marry soon after that.

2. When he said the election would not be held on the next day, it actually meant the election would take place next day. Yes, it happened that way.

3. When he said BN still received many supports from Malaysians, well.. you know. It’s obvious what the GE 2008 tells you.

4. When he said there would be no fuel increase until August, he raised the fuel price on the next day by 40%.

There are more, but I think you pretty much get the idea, right? Come on, you are not that badawee are you?? I trust my readers to be at least as smart as our genius, respected PM. Now I shall leave you to decipher these cryptic words:

From The Star:

Earlier Sunday, Current Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi reiterated that the Barisan Nasional Government was not behind the latest allegation of sodomy against Anwar.

Stating that he was shocked on hearing the police report lodged by an aide of Anwar on Saturday night, Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi said he would leave the police to conduct investigations on the allegations and to take the necessary action.

He said he or the Government did not instruct the police to take any action.

On Anwar’s statement that the allegations were a complete fabrication to kill his political career, as in 1998 when he was sacked as Deputy Prime Minister, Abdullah said the Government had nothing to do with the police report.

“We are not (involved). Umno and Barisan Nasional did not plan to trouble, disturb or accuse him.

“I believe even my friends like (Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri) Najib (Tun Razak) did not have any intention to do such a thing to him,” he told reporters here on Sunday after launching the Bumi Hijau programme.

Abdullah said the alleged victim has the right to lodge a police report if it had really happened.

When asked if Anwar would be arrested following the latest allegation, Abdullah said he did not want to speculate on the matter and would leave the matter to the police.

There is no need to thank me. Just buy me a teh tarik kurang manis.