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X-treme, 9 Words ‘N’ Iris


I was lepaking with some friends last night for a little drinking session. A friend brought a bottle of scotch whisky –18 Year Old Macallan. Taste damn good haha! Very smooth.. I love it very much! 

(Image source : http://www.uncrate.com/men/images/the-macallan-18-year.jpg)

Back to the story, we were waiting for the host to come. The whisky was on the table (he passed the bottle to another friend on the last meeting) as we waiting for the host to turn up, let me share some of our conversations.

Ah Chong : Eh, open the bottle lah! What are we waiting for?

Ah Tat : Not so good lah. Wait for the owner to come first.

Ah Kao : Yalah, wait for the owner first lah! Patience my friend.

Then Ah Kao looked at me..

Ah Kao : Let me ask you, how do you describe extreme patience?

Me : What extreme patience? Extreme Makeover I know. Muahahahahaa!

Ah Kao : Imagine a naked girl lying under a banana tree with her legs spread open waiting for the ripe banana to drop.

Me and the rest : …………………… *silence* Muahahahahhahahahhahaha! Hoi! Sexist joke lah! (Lucky all hamsap guys.. hehe.. Hmm.. no Suituapui, not what you are thinking :P)

Me : What lah you! Ripe bananas do no drop okay! You think like durians? Crap!

Ah Kao : Joke lah brader.. Come on lah. Okay.. another one. So how do you describe extreme pain?

Me : No idea lah. Getting nailed from behind kot. (Hoh! Me not homophobic okay, just joking lah.. kakakaka! Hmm, not only gays main belakang.)

Ah Kao : Imagine an ant sliding down a razor blade and the razor blade is positioned between its balls. Ouch!

Me and the rest : Ha! Ha! Ha! Very funny.

*****************************************************************

This is something men must know. For a relationship to last, to avoid arguments with women we as men must learn to read between the lines, hidden meanings, innuendos when they say these words.

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
Right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
Minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
And you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
Usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you’re welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying FARK YOU!

9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s
wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

Do not thank me. We are all in this together. So do not say I never warn you. Muahahahaha! Have a wonderful weekend my friends 🙂

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16 Responses to “X-treme, 9 Words ‘N’ Iris”

  1. suituapui wrote on Apr 11, 2008 at 8:14 pm

    Whisky? I’ve got lots at home. Used to buy duty free when my missus and I travelled abroad…and nobody drinks. So I just keep! Call them my “liquid assets”!!!

    Now, now! I wonder what ur girlfriend has to say about all that!!! “Whatever”??? LOL!!!

    –> liquid assets.. that’s interesting description 😛 whatever suituapui… whatever… hahahahaa~!

    [Reply]

  2. angeles wrote on Apr 12, 2008 at 12:48 am

    Let’s see.. I jz checked my ‘stock’ and was surprised to find vodka, Southern Comfort, red wine, Sheridan’s & Bailey’s! Din realised ada begitu banyak… who’s gonna help me finish them??

    Pompuan memang leceh, kan? Tsk tsk… all the best! 😉

    –> sini sini! let me finish those.. or sama sama kita finish kan 😛 😛 yam zhao siu sa~~!!!!

    [Reply]

  3. melbie wrote on Apr 12, 2008 at 10:18 am

    hey not every woman like that la bongkersz…

    When I say 5 minutes when I’m getting dressed, that’s what I really mean 😛 But then again, I’m one of those who doesn’t like “MRT”..

    Nevertheless, the rest are true! LOL

    p.s: I love the song! 🙂

    –> of course not every woman like that lah melbie…. same applies to men whenever you girls say all man the same 😛 yeah i love iris!

    [Reply]

  4. ahBONG wrote on Apr 12, 2008 at 10:38 am

    were u by any chance at ss2 on friday night? white shirt and jeans, i thought i saw someone who looked like you walking from the car park along the corridor of the shop towards somewhere.

    😛 he’s bald, but too bald… 😀

    –> lol! it was me, i think. i was at new paris restaurant last night. very bald, because i just shaved haha! you know what, another blogger friend, clare also at that place last night. she smsed me after i left the place with more or less message like yours. yes, made reference to my bald head too. lol!

    [Reply]

  5. angeles wrote on Apr 12, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    I forgot to comment about the Extreme Patience… haha 😛

    If I were that naked lady, I cannot wait… gila ah?? Wait till the cows come home?? 😛

    But you already know if I cannot wait, wat I’ll do, kan? Heh heh…

    *horns growing*

    –> er… what you will do angeles? 😛 pray tell.. kakakkakaa!

    [Reply]

  6. Lynnwei wrote on Apr 12, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    coolie! i like the 9 words..aha…some truth there….aha..sounds so much like in series….ahaha…

    –> what series? 😛 Lost? Hahaha!

    [Reply]

  7. suituapui wrote on Apr 12, 2008 at 1:47 pm

    Watch it, boy!!! Ur movements are being watched!!! I got an sms from clare too!!!Imagine me getting a message, “I saw this blogger – bongkersz, standing at this street corner…digging his nose!” (or worse!!!) LOL!

    –> that’s scary!! 😀 being bald, a shining head sure has its advantage heh? 😛

    [Reply]

  8. CharYeLLe wrote on Apr 13, 2008 at 2:24 am

    and which *tut* tells u our secret language??!!??

    sistas, we can no longer communicate in our secret language anymore, we have been found out!

    –> you told me remember? now girls, let your dogs on charyelle for betraying the code of the sisterhoooddddd… 😛

    [Reply]

  9. suituapui wrote on Apr 13, 2008 at 7:13 am

    So does that mean that bongkersz has joined the sisterhood too, Charyelle??? Hahahahahaha!!!!

    [Reply]

  10. drumsticks wrote on Apr 13, 2008 at 11:03 am

    hmmm i think when a girl start using these 9 words… the damage is already done..

    –> still can be salvaged lah 😛 just arguments, nothing so bad right? and it is better than the girl not saying anything at all. if the girl is not saying anything then it is big trouble brewing….. so how many words out of the 9 listed you used before?

    [Reply]

  11. drumsticks wrote on Apr 13, 2008 at 11:03 am

    explain later hehe.. rushing.. cibol damn good wake up me

    –> free alarm clock!! 😛

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  12. Coral wrote on Apr 13, 2008 at 5:41 pm

    So true about the 9 words. I do use #6 every now and then. Lol…

    [Reply]

  13. Judy wrote on Apr 13, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    Wahliao, from a bottle of fine whisky, your friends can come out with such humsap talk? Eeewww… 🙂

    –> haha! lousy friends 😛 hmm… guys talk about this among themselves, really. not hamsap not a guy lah!

    [Reply]

  14. Man-D wrote on Apr 14, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    Oh My…not this song again…its not that I hate this song…its because I love this song so much…’Id give up forever to touch you, cause I know that you feel me somehow…Youre the closest to heaven that ill Ever be..I dont want to go home right now‘…

    –> any song you hate man-d? 😛

    [Reply]

  15. drumsticks wrote on Apr 14, 2008 at 10:47 pm

    use 5/9… haha with 5 being the mean. yeahh i’m MEAN!!!

    –> you just love yourself more lah dear 😛

    [Reply]

  16. drumsticks wrote on Apr 14, 2008 at 10:47 pm

    5 being the mean, i’m mean and i mean it.

    wah.. the word ‘mean’ is so useful.. can mean so many things..

    –> or it can mean nothing, if people do not get what you mean or what it meant to be. you are MEAN!

    [Reply]

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