This happened last Friday night.
Michael: Hey, I’m in town. Just came back from Penang. Chill out tonight? Al Fresco. 8.30pm.
Me: Sure man, it’s been like what? 4 months? See you tonight.
*chilling out session in progress with Michael and friends*
Me: Eh, let’s go to Cheerie Berries. Go ogle some chicks. We’ve been sitting here for 3 hours, I’m having butt cramps. Hanging out with all these ‘batangs’ any longer is hazardous to my health. *grinning*
Michael: HAHA! No dude, I’m feeling a bit drowsy and sleepy now. Think I should go back and have a good sleep. You go on.
Me: Arrrghhhh! Fine then. I’ll be a lone ranger tonight. You guys can go home and make love with your pillows.
So I went to Cheerie Berries alone. Not something that I would do, normally. I ordered a drink, sat at the bar, facing the stage where the Filipino band was playing, listening to the music. There was quite a crowd, but I didn’t see any familiar faces so I stayed put at my place.
Then, suddenly a girl came and sat next to me. Her back was facing me, so I couldn’t see her face. She was leaning a bit too close to me, but I thought well it’s a crowded place and being in a bar it’s more than an appropriate thing to do. *chuckles*
Anyway, I felt something was not right with the whole thing. This girl leaned closer to me now, she’s basically using my body as support and there were some ‘accidental’ touches as I lifted up my drink, she moved her hands and shaked her body to the music. It was like an invitation, a cue from the girl for me to take things further, maybe grab and hug her, judging from her body language and all the ‘accidental’ brushes.
By this time, she was sitting facing to the stage and I could see her side profile. I looked at the face and instantly my radar went *beep beep beep* alerting me “This is not your cup of tea! Abort! Abort!”. So I played dumb and continued my drinking, ignoring her ‘advances’.
A group of male Caucasians was dancing nearby. From their accents, I assumed they are the Queen’s subjects. The girl sat there for like 10 mins and probably was getting bored with the inaction on my part. She stood up and joined the Caucasians for dancing and started to do some ‘sophisticated dance moves in front one of the guy.
The guy must be thinking she’s some sort of hot stuff so he grabbed her waist and they started to shake their bodies together. Things were obviously heating up for the ‘lucky’ couple because in a flash, they locked their lips and started kissing passionately ! And the rest of the guys watching nearby were cheering and whistling, prompting more intense actions from the couple. Friends of that guy were making funny face expressions like “Is this for real??” “WTF” among them.
Then a friend of that lucky guy asked me, “Dude, is that a bloke or a girl?” in his thick Brits accent. I replied him, “Er, I’m not really sure but I think your friend is kissing a bloke!”. *evil grins* He bursted out laughing and said, “Yeah, I thought the same!!” *knocking beer bottles*
Another friend of that lucky guy took out his camera and started snapping some photos and showed them to us. There were photos of the couple kissing passionately and we were particularly ‘thrilled’ by one photo showing a close up shot of the ‘girl’ face making some sort of ‘wild’ expression.
And holy crap, she is indeed a HE! A ‘HE’ with a layer of thin moustache-manly-hair above the lips! The facial features are clearly those of a man. I was pretty sure she’s a man and not a girl with manly face. The guy was still dancing and kissing his ‘lovely’ lady and the rest of us cheered them on, making thumbs up sign while laughing crazily among ourselves.
When the ‘burning hot action’ was over, the guy joined us and his friend told him of what happened. He was like “Ugh?? Really?” and he started making that “wiping mouth” gestures. After he saw that ‘manly’ photo of his date, he flashed a sheepish smile and laughed nervously. He then came to me and said, “Thank mate for the chance. It felt like kissing a man just now and there I was thinking – This is weird! – Not that I kissed a man before but it just felt not right when I kissed her.”
Lesson: If you are not sure, better don’t do it. 😛
Some tips from experts, gathered from the comments, after I shared this story on my Facebook.
1. Check out the physique of the body lah. If it’s super lean with minimal fat around hips, arms, and very toned limbs, most likely it’s a ‘he’.
2. Next time pretend to point at something on the ceiling and get her to look up. Then see if you spot that Adam’s apple.
3. Ask her to strip. (not sure how this is to be done in public, lol!)
So, how was your weekend?