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The Book of Eli – A review with.. many spoilers. HA! HA! HA!


I went to watch The Book of Eli last night. My first time on a movie outing, alone! I used to scoff at the idea of watching movie alone. Or shopping alone. Or eating alone. Not anymore, I guess. To think of it, I kinda get used of being a lone ranger since I started working in Miri. I would go out clubbing or chilling out with myself (ha! ha! ha!) when my friends – the usual suspects and partners in crime – had other plans out of town. It can be fun, I made some new friends that way. And of course being alone, you have no obligations, no limits.

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I love the MBO Cineplex at The Spring!

Got my ticket!

Love this movie poster. Took this photo outside the cineplex.

The Book of Eli is a post apocalyptic film, seems to be one of the many popular genres for many movie producers and moviegoers nowadays. People just love these end of the world, survival of last humanity on earth, futuristic civilization kind of movies lately. We have 2012, District 9, I Am Legend, Cloverfield, Legion (crappy movie this one!), The Day After Tomorrow, Knowing, War of the Worlds, 28 Days Later, The Matrix Trilogy and many more. I just listed those I have watched off the top of my head ehe!

Let’s continue with the movie. Do not read further if you have not watch the movie and do not want to know the storyline. Not everyone loves spoilers. It is kinda funny, because a movie review or any other review is written for the benefits of those who have not experience the ‘thing’ by those who already did, so that they can make a decision whether they want to experience it or not, no?

1. Hero walks alone. Hero shoots a fur-less cat and eats it.

2. Hero talks to a rat, listening to songs (to hypnotise himself to sleep? I do it all the time). Hero reads a bible-looking book.

3. Hero is stopped by a group of baddies. Hero chops and slices baddies ala-Blade style. *chop chop chop* He continues walking, doesn’t even stop to help when he sees a gang of bikers killing innocent lives.

4. People in this period of time do barter trade eh? Hero goes and does some business. Villain is reading a book… on Mussolini? Wow! Gang of bikers meet with Villain and give him their loot. Villain wants books. I saw Da Vinci Code! Bikers have the wrong books. Villain is not happy. Why he’s sending illiterate people to find books? Hmm, why stupid people are leading this country, elected to office?

5. Villain is helping his concubine washing her hair. Impresses her about getting the last shampoo on earth.Yes, people in this movie don’t get to take shower.

6. Wow, so many cool people with shades in the bar. This is not a Rayban’s advert?C at fight. No, fight over a cat at the bar. Cat has more rights, since it’s here first. Sounds like a script written by Ibrahim Ali, woot! Hero takes out his awesome knife again. *chop chop chop* Good knife.

7. Hero is in a  conversation with the the villain. Villain says something stupid. “Old farts like us, are the future”. Some Malaysian politicians would agree with this. Villain wants to make a deal. His machai is making it clear to Hero it is not a negotiable offer, “This is not a choice for you to make”. Hero coolly replies “There is always a choice. This is my choice, Kopi Tongkat Ali Ibrahim. My choice!

8. Hero stays at Villain’s place for the night. Hero reads his book.  Pretty chick walks into the room. Hero tries out a pick up line. “Like your perfume”. “Err.. not perfume, it’s my shampoo,” Pretty eyes and lips. Non anorexic version of Angelina Jolie. Slurrps. Pretty chick tries to seduce Hero. Hero rejects and invites her for meal. Hero takes her hands and prays to God before eating.

9. How to play chess, if you’re blind? Watch this movie to know. Breakfast time! Villain asks pretty chick about Hero. Pretty chicks tells him everything, and describes the book she saw. Villain now thinks Hero has the book he is looking for all this while. Hero is leaving Villain’s place. Shoot out! “You can’t hit me!!” Eh, this is a scene from Counter Strike game. *tratttt tattt tattt trattt*  Hero continues his journey. Pretty chick follows secretly but Hero hears her. Pretty chick wants to make a deal. Hero and her go to fetch water. Hero traps her inside the ‘cave’.  Hero continues his journey to the West.

10. Pretty chick walksalone. Hero walks alone. Baddies pursue in vehicles. Pretty chick is set upon by two baddies. They want to rape her! Baddie 1 stands up to unzip his trouser. *Zaapp!* A arrow piercing through his genital area. Ouch ouch! Another arrow, piercing through Baddie 2 neck. Both are dead.

11. Hero walks again with pretty chick following behind. “Hey, I’m been walking for 30 years. Follow your heart.”  Hero is saying something Zen-ish. It is night time. Hero and pretty chick stop for a rest. Villain and gang also stop for a rest. Hero reads his book. Pretty chick wants to know about the book. Hero tells her some stories. Shares a verse from the book. Hero sleeps No, he is just pretending to be, because when pretty chick tries to peek at his book, he wakes up and scolds her. Pretty chick did see his name though. Eli. That is  his name.

12. Hero and pretty chick reach a strange looking house and when tries to investigate, fall into a trap door. An old couple appears. Creepy couple. Husband built all the traps, because he’s was a handyman. Wife loves music and makes good sandwiches. Yum yum om nom nom. Wait. They show the burial site to Hero and pretty chick. Damn, those are human meat sandwiches. No more yum yum om nom nom. Hero and pretty chick want to leave the house.

13. Jeng jeng jeng. Villain and gang are waiting outside. Another scene from Counter Strike. Shoot out! *tratttt tattt tattt trattt* *bommm boommm powww* Bombs. Bazooka. Old granny is hit! She dies. Old grandpa goes crazy and running amok. Crooks deploy machine gun. *tratttt tattt tattt trattt* Old grandpa is hit! He dies too.

14. Hero and pretty chick face off with Villain and his bunch of crooks. Villain tells Hero to give him the book. “Not with me”, Hero lied. But he tells the book’s whereabout when Villain threatens to harm the pretty chick. Pusseh lah this hero. Villain gets the book and he shoots him in the stomach and leaves. Okay, Hero is just a normal human. Is he dead?

15.Pretty chick escapes and drives back to help Hero. Villain doesn’t want to follow, he’s low on fuel. Eh, Hero is walking still! He’s alive! Looks weak though. Pretty chick picks him up and they continue west, reach a bridge and row to this prison. Alcatraz? LOL! A group of survivors working to preserve pre-apocalypse knowledge.

You can stop reading now if you don’t want to know what book Eli is having and the rest of the ‘details’ about the movie. But I think it is obvious what kind of book he’s having in his possession, no?

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16. Hero tells the guard he has a copy of King James version of the Bible and allowed in.

17. Villain tries to open the book – now you know it’s the King James version of the Bible. It is is Braille and he cannot read it. He asks his wife to read for him which she refuses.She makes a comment about his leg, which was shot by Hero, apparently in a very bad condition now.  He will die before he gets the chance to read the Bible.

18. Hero is blind? Oh, that is why he’s wearing shades? Wait, so many people in this movie are wearing shades. Damn, this is a good WTF moment. But it makes sense. Along the movie, it shows that the Hero always use his other senses, making references to other senses more often than the sense of sight.

19. Hero dictates the Bible from memory. Alcatraz reprints the Bible. He dies. Pretty chick pays him respect at his cemetery. The King James Bible is put next to The Torah and The Quran. Pretty chicks dressed up like Hero, taking his awesome knife with her and poses for the camera. End of story.

I think the film is trying to send a message that religion (in this movie, is represented by the Bible) can be used for good or perverted for evil. (Duh?) The Villain is trying to get the Bible to strengthen his rule over people by the mean of controlling them and their loyalties through…. well, religion. The Hero is trying to get the Bible to the West where it will be used as a foundation of a new society? Not sure about that, because I saw other holy books alongside the Bible hehehe..

Probably there were more ‘Elis’ out there with the same quest before him, to deliver the holy books to Alcatraz too? In the movie, for some strange reason, the Bible Eli had in his possession is the last existing copy – apparently all copies of it were destroyed- so how about another religious books??

Quite an okay movie. Can’t be too anal when watching movies. Sure some contradictions and WTF ending (he died? But he was like, impossible to kill, almost god-like for the most parts of the movie before he was shot..)  in the movie will trouble you for example, a religious man on a religious quest..  killing mercilessly? *chop chop chop* Watch it for the actions, Denzel Washington, the pretty chick and forget the rest!.

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8 Responses to “The Book of Eli – A review with.. many spoilers. HA! HA! HA!”

  1. Grey wrote on Mar 1, 2010 at 6:04 pm

    I skipped reading the spoilers for quite some points… but at point 16 I can’t help but to read it because it’s after so much space, and darn it’s actually the biggest spoiler of all, darn! xD

    heard reviews a lot say it’s not so good wor. dunno leh @.o might watch it next :3

    [Reply]

    bongkersz Reply:

    @Grey, lot.. you read the BIGGEST SPOILER among all. HAHA!

    [Reply]

  2. Fi-sha wrote on Mar 1, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    Hi Bong!

    Interesting! For unknown reasons, i watched “God vs Satan” on History Channel (Gee, I am ancient, no?) last nite and I had goose bumps reading this from your post:

    “I think the film is trying to send a message that religion (in this movie, is represented by the Bible) can be used for good or perverted for evil. (Duh?) The Villain is trying to get the Bible to strengthen his rule over people by the mean of controlling them and their loyalties through…. well, religion. The Hero is trying to get the Bible to the West where it will be used as a foundation of a new society?”

    It is scary to acknowledge that towards the end of this world, evils could use religion to garner support and I wonder how could we be so blind.

    If this happened in this Ibu Pertiwi, I have to blame our rotten education system that ‘destroy’ our thinking ability and ‘destroy’ what matters – historically, religiously, etc.

    p.s. I enjoy my lone-ranger outings and glad to know you enjoy yours too.

    [Reply]

    bongkersz Reply:

    @Fi-sha, I understand that ‘goose bumps’ feeling reading something that you have been thinking just before… and it clicked. Been there. HAHA!

    Religion is a powerful tool as we can see throughout the span of human existence on earth. It can be used for good or evil. We just hope good will triumph over evil, in the end of the day.

    I somehow suspect keeping the nation stupid through lousy education system is an electoral strategy, a brilliant one. 😉

    [Reply]

  3. kongkay wrote on Mar 4, 2010 at 9:57 am

    call me next time when going to the movies. but not as a lamp-post though!

    [Reply]

    bongkersz Reply:

    @kongkay, ah! Sure no problem! HAHAHA~!

    [Reply]

  4. Mina wrote on Jan 2, 2013 at 10:26 pm

    Mickey Rourke is a good actor and a former boxer so I think he’ll do a good job of Whiplash. I also trust Jon Favreau to make the ceacarthr interesting enough to play a robust role in the movie.As far as Whiplash being a second stringer. There’s been talk of billionaire and Iron Man nemesis Justin Hammer being part of the movie, even a Mandarin surprise. Whiplash was known to be hired by Justin Hammer along with other minor villains.Nothing’s certain until the movie is shown but what this tells me is that Whiplash cannot be alone .

    [Reply]

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