Tuesday, October 6th, 2009 1,030 views
Smelly people must be shot to death, repeatedly.
I was boarding my flight back to Miri from Kuching on last Sunday and a shapeshifter (borrowing the phrase from the 62% evil michael ooi) was sitting next to me.
When I sat down after putting my hand luggage, immediately I noticed an unpleasant smell coming from my side, greeting my sensitive olfactory sense. I always have a heightened level of sensory perception when it comes to smell and taste. First thing I would notice about a person I meet, is their smell. *sniff sniff*
She smelled like she was dipped in shit for days, well perhaps she marinated herself in a pool of shit. No, I didn’t ask if she just came back from some kind of fetish spa. I was traumatised for the whole duration of the journey back home. I sat with my face facing the opposite side, reading my book and occasionally sniffing myself because, I smell damn good damn it!
I swear she farted few times during the flight. I could smell the sudden, heavily concentrated toxic fumes assaults every now and then so it must be coming from her smelly orifice, releasing it to kill me slowly. Could she be a hired assassin sent to eliminate me for making too many hairy jokes? I was choking in toxic fumes, afraid that I would die a smelly death next to a smelly person. That would be really tragic.
Smelly people should be shot to death, repeatedly!
ps: Come closer, let me have a whiff of your smell.. it better be good, hey!
pss: Do you know that BN politicians and some of their supporters also have a certain distinctive smell? Smell like shit. Too much craps, geddit? I bet my last fortune, Hishammuddin’s mouth is freaking smelly 
Posted in 2 cents, Crap, Me, Observation, Obsession, People, Personal, Rants | 13 Comments »
Thursday, May 21st, 2009 540 views
I take punt on lottery every now and then. Yes, I failed my Maths on the Odd and Probability chapter that’s the reason I am punting 
Ehem, it’s the rush and the anticipation, non gamblers would not understand and it’s better that way, don’t need to understand for the good of you.
In the past, I would only buy when I passed by the lottery outlets and rarely made special trips just to buy lottery. Lately, I have some friends joining me in this ’super duper ridiculous long shot investment’ and I have means to buy it instantly without going to the outlets, *wink* so I have been buying lottery quite religiously. 
I am not writing about ‘how to strike it rich‘ or ‘the good and bad about lottery betting‘ or ‘gambling and its repercussions’ in this post. What I am going to write actually is actually a little disturbing observation that I made, recently.
I always check the lottery results at this one website which is dedicated to all the punters like me where there is a forum, tips, past results statistic etc and all for all the users to check out. What tickles me is this…
As you know, gambling in any form is prohibited for the Muslims. Same goes to Christians, and Buddhists. And, hey no I am not trying to be judgmental here. I really hope I am not appearing like someone who is trying to mock any religion and its followers doings, by writing this post. No offense, if you perceive otherwise from reading this post, I’m truly sorry. (Er, why so nervous suddenly haha! Damn, it’s hard to be politically correct)
In this particular forum, I always see some Muslim forumers posting about tips and all that. I wouldn’t know they are Muslims (well I actually can tell from the language they use lar) but it’s more funny to actually read some very ‘telling’ conversations among them. Some of the conversations that I find to be contradictorily funny are…
“Assalamualaikum bro… ada tips ke?” (Peace upon you brother, any forecast for lottery numbers?)
“Ok bro, aku gi solat jap, pastu baru aku gi tikam kat kedai.” (I want to for a prayer first, then I’ll punt some numbers)
“Insya Allah, mudah mudahan kena lah nombor nie” (God willing/If it is God’s will we will strike the lottery)
It’s a little bit funny, don’t you think? So far I haven’t read anything along the line “Syukur alhamdulillah, aku kena first prize Toto4D!” (Praise to God, I struck Toto4D’s 1st prize!) yet, but it would be really weird to read that in that kind of forum.
It is easier to identify someone who is of Islam faith than other religion, because of the phrases they tend to use in their daily conversation. Christians don’t go ‘Praise Lord Jesus’ or ‘Amen’ and Buddhists don’t go ‘Namo Amitabha Buddha’ in their daily conversations, I think. That’s the difference and of course, I’m not on purpose selectively write about Islam followers straying from their religion rules or anything. Just that, they are more easy to be identified.
Normally, you would not want to let people know your ‘little background’ when you are doing something which is not right and against your belief system, right? You just don’t want people to know who you are, what are your affiliations or just anything that may incriminate you while doing the ‘crime’.
Put it this way, say you are the most famous spokesperson for Pepsi and everybody knows you for that reason, you wouldn’t want people to see you sipping Coca Cola and even if you do, you are going to make sure anyone around you don’t know you are a spokesperson for Pepsi, right? A policeman would not wear his police uniform while he’s robbing a bank, right? Eh, wait.. that idea may work just fine, perfectly. LOL!
Let me try again, a Christian priest would not wear his collared coat and bring a Bible with him if he decides to stray and screw some hot chicks at a brothel, right? A Buddhist monk would not go and eat fried chicken at KFC or chewing double cheese burger at Mc Donald wearing his saffron robe, right? Geddit?
I don’t really understand people, sometimes. Full of contradiction, often hilariously funny yet absurdly weird and controversial. Well, life is a contradiction at times – as are we!
ps: “Do what you will, this world’s a fiction and is made up of contradiction” – William Blake
pss: Please keep your comments civilised and proper okay?
Posted in 2 cents, Me, Observation, People, Thoughts | No Comments »
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008 1,086 views
It is still not too late for me to say Happy Merdeka Malaysians! Well East Malaysians technically had their independence on September 16th, 1963 so let’s keep this Merdeka mood until September 16th yeah? Everybody happy with the arrangement? Not forgetting, to all my Muslim friends that started fasting since yesterday and going to do so for the rest of the month of Ramadhan – Selamat menjalankan ibadah puasa Ramadhan.
I was back in my hometown – Sarikei for the Merdeka weekends. I drove back to Sarikei on Saturday morning. A 6-hour journey, stopping twice, at Serian and Lachau. (Not Lanchau lah!) The next day I made a quick trip by bus to Sibu for another makan-makan gathering. Ehem, I attended few bloggers meets and the main agenda is always about food, so naturally after few meetings, yours truly received comments like “For some reasons he looked ‘well-fed‘ in this photo“.
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Posted in Food, Friends, Personal, Sarawak, Sibu, Songs, Travel, Trip | No Comments »
