The Flaccid Mind

Open Letter to Najib - Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia

You guys want to apply for scholarship from Najib, our ever helpful DPM? A friend of mine after reading in mainstream media that DPM’s office is helping students with their scholarship was ecstatic and after few drinks of whiskey he produced these letters to apply for the scholarship from our magnanimous leader.  This is just a too good an opportunity to miss!! I hope Mr. Najib will help my poor friend. We are your fans, Datuk!!

Dear Mr Najib,

I’m writing in to apply for a scholarship to become a pilot. I’m currently 29 years old - too old for Malaysian Airlines to take me in their cadet pilot training course, have a perfect 20-20 vision, and recently found out that there’s a flying academy in Kelantan that offers a course for pilot wannabees. Here’s what it looks like:

Flight training: An aerial view of the flying school which I would like to apply to. If I actually become a pilot, I’ll take more pictures to be submitted to Thestar….which has this picture for some strange reason.

Mr Najib, I have to mention however, that I went to a local university, and I actually completed the course - obtained a degree - CGPA > 3.00 (2nd Class Upper Hons).

Although I realise that I may be a bit overqualified to receive a government scholarship, I seriously hope you’ll consider my application. If you’re free, I’ll even drop by your office and meet you in person. Since I heard that’s the way you give out scholarships these days.Thank you Mr Najib.

DURVAN SUBRAMANIAM.

————————–————————–——————–

…..oh no, as bad as my english is…..it may be a bit too good ….considering the fact i went to a local uni……and….shit…i passed my exams…….not a good thing….let me try again.

————————–————————–——————-

Dear Mr Najib,

I am written in to application for a scholarships. I liking to become a pilot. I like to fly high like an eagle.

I no go university yet, but i plan on going, and failing. But, before i failing, i will taking part in student activities. I will become student head, and will taking foto with many many leaders. I will taking that fotos, and put in my resume. Lagi lawak la beb resume ku nanti (sorry, don’t know words lawak & beb in english)

Thanks you Najib. I get the scholarship, gua caya sama lu la.

DURVAN SUBRAMANIAM.

————————–————————–——————–

damn….too crude….if i were najib, i’ll just through the letter out the window………. let me try again.

————————–————————–——————–

Dear Mr Najib,

I’m writing in to apply for a scholarship to become a pilot. I’m currently 29 years old…………………..…
Heck…Mr Najib, why on earth am I writing in to you for a scholarship? …. shouldn’t I be writing in to the Education Minister?….after all…this is a scholarship to pursue my education…..Hmmm…let me think….you’re also the defence minister….maybe…just MAYBE…… I’m writing in to you to join the Malaysian Air Force…. oh what the heck,……let me just compose another mail.

————————–————————–———————

Dear Mr Najib,I’m writing in to join the army……….

Good god…am I out of my mind????

————————–————————–———————

Dear Mr Najib,

How are you doing?…..I’m doing alrite….how’s the wife doing?..heard she’s in bit of trouble with some bald dude from Selangor. Come on la Najib…what are you waiting for?….just take some C4….blast that fella la……aiyooo…i tell you ah…..sometimes….you a bit silly also la……you let this fella run freely…you’re screwed i tell you. The Malays have a saying for this….. As smart smart as a squirrel jumps, it falls to the ground also in the end. If you don’t want to fall to the ground… i suggest you get the CCCC out.

I was thinking of getting a scholarship from you…but….i think i’m quite comfortable in my house right now, don’t need one for now.

Have fun Mr Najib!

Oh yea…and by the way……..one person by the name of Bong Chan Siong has more fans than you on facebook…..I think you should do something about it…after all, you guys managed to bring down Malaysia Today, rite?

-Durvan

————————–————————–———————

(Lifted from Durvan’s Notes)

My friend is very generous, he is not charging anything for the reproduction of the letters. You can plagiarise it, recycle it.. do what ever you want. If you are generous enough, just buy him some beers.

ps: Durvan dude, I want to apply for the scholarship also. I want to be a lawyer so I can sue some people and protect my backside. Eh, why you haven’t join Najib’s fan group in Facebook? Oh, do not forget to take some photos while you at the office yeah? As a ‘record’ of your visit mah!

Popularity: 7% [?]

Posted in Facebook, Friends, Fun | 5 Comments »

Denial is necessary..

I love Pak Lah a lot. It is damn obvious right? If not, why I always talk about him, quoting him? He is my idol!! Numero Uno! I must put it to him, because I learn how not to say things like him.. for it may be used against me in the future.

“Ibarat meludah ke langit, terpercik ke muka sendiri.” (You spit into the air and the excretion drops on your face, messed.)

Lesson for today: Narcissism Denial is necessary.

Rosmah Mansor vs RPK:

Rosmah: I am innocent

KUALA LUMPUR: Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor said she was innocent of the allegation in a statutory declaration that she was present when the body of Mongolian translator Altantuya Shaariibuu was disposed of.

“If you are innocent, what is there for you to address? I am not a politician and I am not running for any post. I’m just the wife of a politician,” she said, when asked why she would not address such a serious allegation.

Najib vs Anwar Ibrahim:

Najib denies being involved with sodomy allegations against Anwar

KUALA LUMPUR, MON:

Datuk Seri Najib Razak denied that he had anything to do with the sodomy allegations against Parti Keadilan Rakyat de-facto leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim.

“I am not involved at all in this case. I am not behind it. The most important thing is, did the act take place? That is for the police to investigate,” he said at a press conference at the parliament lobby today.

What Abdullah Ahmad Badawi said?

Abdullah vs The Accused:

“The police are the ones who will determine whether the report is true or not. It is not something that we can determine. He will definitely deny it. That is common for someone who has been accused.”

Thank you for such enlightening piece of crap.

Wait.. but then Pak Lah also said something else.. He was fast to come to Najib’s and Rosmah’s rescue after RPK made the explosive statutory declaration recently.

“Raja Petra’s actions are unacceptable. It is not right,” Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi told reporters Tuesday. “I don’t believe that Najib and Rosmah are involved.“

The investigation yet to be carried out on the statutory declaration, but Pak Lah already absolved his ‘friends’. That’s weird. He knows things that we don’t? He should have said he does not believe that Najib and Rosmah did it, but since an affidavit has been signed, a proper investigation must be carried out.

Here, the ‘accused’ need not to defend themselves / deny the accusation. Their ‘good friend’ did. Er, how is that fit with the line ‘He will definitely deny it. That is common for someone who has been accused.”?? Oh, I know..

“His/her friends will definitely deny it for him/her. That is common for friends of someone’s who has been accused” (That’s what friends for right? Gotchu bek, moyte!! So I can stab your back. )

Popularity: 4% [?]

Posted in Anwar, BN-ism, Boleh-ism, Bolehland, Current Affairs, Friends, Mainstream Media, Personalities, Politics | 2 Comments »

Want government scholarship? Go DPM’s office.

What do all of you think about Najib’s answer regarding to the “victim” picture taken in his office?

Najib: I have no link to Anwar’s accuser or case

KUALA LUMPUR: Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak said he was not connected in any way to the sodomy allegations against Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim.

Parti Keadilan Rakyat officials had on Sunday attempted to tie Najib to Anwar’s accuser by producing a picture of the latter in the foyer of the deputy prime minister’s office.

“I am not involved at all in the case. The picture was taken three months ago.”

Najib said the Anwar aide who made the allegations had come to his office on Feb 12 seeking help to obtain a scholarship from the government.

“He was a student leader and met my officer. He also took pictures with other leaders,” he said at the Parliament lobby yesterday after chairing a meeting of the cabinet committee on foreign workers.

Elaborating in a statement to Bernama, Najib said the aide was a former student of Universiti Tenaga Nasional (Uniten) while the officer in the photograph was responsible for, among other things, higher education.“It is normal for guests, particularly students, who come to the office of the deputy prime minister to pose for photographs with officers as a record of their visit.”

(Source: NST)

Now, I am very very curios. How on earth that he would come out with an answer that the “victim” came to his office for his assistance to obtain government scholarship?

1) The victim is a drop-out of UNITEN…why he need a scholarship? From NST - Accuser a varsity dropout:

Popularity: 7% [?]

Posted in BN-ism, Current Affairs, Mainstream Media, News, Rants | 17 Comments »

Anwar Ibrahim accused of ’sodomy’, again??! Old trick?

I woke up this morning to receive a shocking sms from NH.

“Dude wake up. Anwar accused of sodomy again”

I tried to reply his sms and fired up my Digi Internet but to no avail, because I did not pay my outstanding bill haha! End up calling Digi and made the payment through the phone. Only now I have the chance to get on the internet and read on the issue.

I have yet to read much on this but.. just few comments and interesting links to share.

So, another sodomy report against Anwar Ibrahim? Come on, come up with something new. Old trick cannot be used many times. Bodoh! This is the second time that such a report had been lodged in over 10 years. According to the police report filed by his 23-year-old aide yesterday, the sodomy allegedly committed by de facto PKR leader Anwar Ibrahim took place “in a condo in the Damansara area”. The following police report was made on 28 June 2008 at 5.45 PM by Mohd Saiful Bukhari bin Azlan, who turns 23 next week (IC No. 850706-01-5687):

“Saya Mohd Saiful Bukhari b Azlan ingin melaporkan bahawa saya telah diliwat oleh majikan saya. Perkara ini berlaku tanpa kerelaan saya. Kejadian terakhir berlaku 26/6/08 di Unit 1151, Kondominium Desa Damansara, Jln Setia Kasih, KL. Oleh itu, tujuan laporan ini dibuat untuk mendapat pembelaan dan keadilan keatas diri saya. Saya juga berasa bimbang dengan keselamatan diri dan keluarga saya jika perkara ini tersebar luas di khalayak ramai. Majikan saya Dato Seri Anwar Ibrahim - Ketua Umum PKR.”

Me: The accuser does not have a time where the incident was alleged to have happen. What kind of sloppy, dumb report is this? How is the accused going to prepare his defense of alibi?

Let us look at the whole thing carefully.

What are the information that we have? In this issue we should take a look the background of the individuals involved.

1st, Anwar Ibrahim (AI). He was accused of sodomy and corruption in 1998. He was found guilty for both charges but the sodomy charge was overturned, six years after he served his time in jail. There are many rumours flying around regarding AI sexuality. Some swore that they saw AI dating ‘lelaki jambu’(pretty boy) before. (Hmm… those who admitted that AI sodomised them - Dr. Munawar and AI’s driver both also not handsome and jambu. Fugly. Sukma? Well.. I don’t want to comment, leave that to STP hahahaha! :D) Only AI and his god knows whether he did what he was accused. I personally think he is not into backdoor entry and even if he is, that is his personal choice. I reserved the same opinion for Chua Soi Lek. I am not supporting the actions, but I sure condemn those that forever on their high moral pedestals - self elected moral guardians. Self appointed moral guardians irk me. Get a life, pls?

2nd. Who is Saiful Bukhari - the accuser? According to many inviduals that personally know this guy, he is what we call ‘a wolf in sheep’s clothing’. Malays say ‘Musang berbulu ayam’. The are reports saying this guy was Najib’s strong man, ex-UMNO guy. He gained entry to AI political circle through his friend after ‘repented’ and left AMNO.

Saiful Bukhari, the accuser. Jambu??

(Image source: here)

There are few interesting links to read on this: (Take note of the entries’ date and read the comments. The comments are more interesting than the entries.)

Selamat Maju Jaya, Saiful

Musang Berbulu-Ayam Part 1

Musang Berbulu Ayam Part 2

Musang Berbulu Ayam Part 3

Hujah

We also aware of certain profilic individuals such as Musa Hassan and Gani Patail and their ‘involvements’ in the conviction of AI. Musa Hassan was the investigating officer at that time (Probably if you followed the case closely you will remember he’s guy carrying the ’semen-ted’ mattress to the court) and Gani Patail was the case prosecutor. Could be a vendetta? After they failed to convict AI?

Done with actors’ biodatas. Let’s look at the situation of background of the story.

After 8 Mac political tsunami, weakness of the BN-led government under Abdullah Ahmad Badawi is getting more obvious. The government is getting lesser support as time goes by especially after few unpopular decisions made by him such as raising the fuel price, sidelining East Malaysian leaders from his cabinet and exerting pressures against and pulling out people’s projects from Pakatan Rakyat-ruled states. He is making a lot of enemies from inside and outside AMNO. (too long to list out). He will be dethroned anytime soon and his party (read BN) may lose power of the country. He is in a situation what we call ‘deep shit’.

Abdullah is not the only person to feel the heat. His second man, Najib and the infamous Rosmah Mansor - Najib’s wife also feeling the heat especially after RPK made a Statutory Declaration implicating Rosmah in Altantuya’s murder case. The case becomes too hot to handle, even Najib and his wife were forced to respond to the media.

Anwar - deemed the new hope of Malaysia. Widely acknowledged as ‘Prime Minister in waiting’. He is seen to the the only person capable to steer Malaysia and ’save’ Malaysia from catastrophic doomsday. He is gaining more supports from the ground after the encouraging result for the opposition (especially his party - PKR) in the March 2008 General Election. Despite receiving more supports, he is also bombarded with all sort of allegations in the MSM without any access given to him to defend or reply to the allegations.

Latest allegation? He sodomised Saiful Bahari.

My take? These are few questions and comments to ponder about:

1. Abdullah is trying to kill many birds with one stone. RPK, Najib, and Anwar Ibrahim. Who would think he will do this? But then again, who would think he would remarry again (after he denied it previously), dissolve the parliament (after saying the exact opposite the previous day?) and increased the fuel price as much as 40% to RM2.70 (after he was saying otherwise the previous day?) Abdullah Ahmad Badawi is capable of many things.

2. I think it is a pathetic show and desperate attempt by the corrupted government to save its ass and after a decade, is this still relevant?

3. This is may be an attempt to sidetrack us from major issues - C4 , Altantuya and the Statutory Declaration by RPK. They are trying to badawise us! We are stupid but we are not badawi! Note: Saiful Bukhari was close to Najib before. This explosive news probably is to divert the attention from Najib and other dead horses to AI.

4. So how does that 35 year-old (now 45 years old) virgin fit into all this? Remember Ummi Hafilda? Out of nowhere she came into the picture? Is she going to make her appearance again?

5. Are we going to see the parade of mattresses again? Hey they probably dust the old mattress and use it as evident in court again. Bring in on!

6. Probably we should ask Ezam Mat Noor? He was a close aide to Anwar and now he is busy attacking AI. Probably he was sodomised before as well? Huh, after 10 years of the Anwar’s sodomy case, nobody come out and say ‘I was sodomise and this is the farking proof’. What we had was some individuals went to lodge police reports against AI. Why straightly go to the police? Go to TV3, show medical reports, photos to the world if it is true. Why police first? The pattern is there. Same old pattern. Boring. Dumb.

7. What a lame reproduction.

Why not come up with a new plot? While they are at it, why not accuse AI of Altantuya’s murder? Create some stories like actually AI was having affair with Altantuya, then also sodomised some boys and Altantuya found up, she went berserked and AI killed him?? Be creative lah! Old trick cannot be used many times!!!!!!!!

Anwar Ibrahim’s press statement : Read here.

Interesting video to watch. Did Anwar Ibrahim perform sodomy? Here is one good post:

Did Anwar Perform Sodomy? Some Video Confessions. (Check out the videos) This is another video on Anwar’s corruption and sodomy charges, check out how wonderful our ex-Prime Minister using his selective memory to ’skirt around’ the questions asked by the interviewer.

ps: I used/translated some of the points mentioned in this post by BumiLangit. I hope he doesn’t mind. A good post must be shared. A lazy blogger like me, just copy-lah! NH posted an entry on this as well.

pss: Some of points are just my flaccid mind’s imaginations at work. Please take it with many pinchs of salt.

psss: All this events eerily similar in comparison with a certain African politician - Moo-gah-beh doings.. to stay in power at all cost, at whatever it takes.

Updates:

Malaysiakini: PKR fears Anwar an assasination target - He has sought protection at the Turkish embassy in Kuala Lumpur indefinitely

The Star Online: Anwar receives death threats, in hiding

The Malaysian Insider: PKR claims anwars life under threat

Popularity: 10% [?]

Posted in 2 cents, Anwar, BN-ism, Blogosphere, Boleh-ism, Bolehland, Current Affairs, Democracy, Election, Judiaciary, Mainstream Media, News, PKR, Personalities, Photos, Politics, Rage, Serious, Social Issues | 12 Comments »

Malaysians are bunch of idiots.

Malaysians are bunch of idiots. When the government raised the fuel price, the whole country made a big noise. We must understand that fuel price will go up whenever there is a rising costs of producing and selling petroleum in the world.

Prime Minister of Malaysia, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi has done the best for the country. After all he is the leader of the country. He received a majority vote in Kepala Batas. He knows what is best for the people. He is right in comparing fuel price in Malaysia with Singapore and Thailand. Both countries are not oil producers.

Singapore and Thailand just buying while service cost in oil producing countries is increasing. So, fuel price in Malaysia should be raised. Regarding salary in Singapore, toilet cleaner there earns RM2500.00 per month. In Malaysia, only PTD officers and professionals earn that much. Please ask people in Permatang Manggis, Tasik Gelugor and Kepala Batas.

What?

Some Malaysians have never been to Singapore. They do not know? Never mind. We shall wait for Reezal Merican’s ‘visit and learning’ trip. This is AMNO and BN leaders’ smart way of running the country. Malaysians are not that smart anyway. Cuti-Cuti Malaysia (Holidaying in Malaysia - Tourism Malaysia commercial tagline) also hardly materialised. Malaysian leaders already traveled around the world. They know very well what is best for us.

One third of a person’s salary in Britain is enough to buy a computer. While here in Malaysia, most Malaysians need three months salary to buy a computer. Malaysians are clueless, what they know?? Malaysia’s per capita income is lower than Singapore or Hong Kong. To our current leaders, in this aspect anything lower is definitely better. If examples or comparisons need to be done among countries, it is such waste not to emulate ways and ingenuity of Malaysian leaders.

From Bukit Kayu Hitam to Kuala Lumpur, the toll rate is RM60.00 one way. From Danok Thailand to Pengkalan Kubor, Kelantan users can travel along the highway for free. This should not be taken as example. Thailand leaders are not efficient in managing their public transportation. Highway projects in Malaysia are under whose control? Yes, our leaders and their cronies. For sure they must make more profits. Who else but them that crack their head and use their brain for the good of hebetudinous Malaysians?

In Singapore, they have a very efficient and extensive public transportation network. In Malaysia, RM4 billion allocations have been set aside for the purpose of upgrading the public transportation and the money still being kept. This is the brilliance of Abdullah and his efficient cabinet. In Thailand, only one time payment needed for driving license. In Malaysia, we need to pay every year for our driving license. Isn’t it great, our government knows how to be prudent, saving for the stability of the country?

In Brunei, the government is not as smart as Abdullah’s government. Tax collection in Malaysia is done every year where in Brunei, only once. Fuel price hike in Malaysia does not mean that the government will increase the bus and public transports fare because companies in Malaysia already raised the price up to fifty percent. They know Abdullah’s government is sleeping and can do nothing. Who says price of food and consumer goods will go up?

In Malaysia, every time fuel price increases, people are happy because the price of consumer goods will go down. Government never fails to shout, “We would not allow price increase.” Isn’t it great we have such government? Malaysians know nothing about economy. Cannot be only Petronas needs to pay subsidy. Tun Mahathir, Anwar Ibrahim, Hadi Awang and Lim Kit Siang are clueless about globalised market. That is why we have special advisors at 4th floor and heads of media with MCE grade III education. They would help to tell people to change their lifestyle.

Follow the style of Rosmah Mansor. Last time she used to buy things alone. Now, as raised in the Parliament recently, she was going on luxury shopping sprees in oversea and large purchases were transported back home at the expense of the Malaysian embassy in London and national carrier MAS. This should be the smart way of changing your lifestyle.

Is it appropriate for ministers, VIPs, Tan Sri and Datuks in Malaysia to use NGV? Please do not make their life difficult. NGV only suitable for villagers in Jerlun, Ceruk Tok Kun and in Keroh. Well, provided they have NGV petrol pumps there or else just wait for another 10-20 years. Our ministers are serving and working for the people. Fifty years of independence, they turned Malaysia in a mess. That still is some works right?

Farmers, fishermen, graduates, villagers and government servants should be prudent. Change your lifestyle. Do not complain. Dream on, trying to do demonstrations. FRU’s water canons and tear gasses are bought specially for the purpose of using it against normal Malaysians. Where in earth you ever see ministers and VIP being sprayed by tear gasses? Show me. Since you choose BN to rule the country, you must follow their advice. Change your lifestyle. “Follow what I say, not what I do. Capisce? Not to hard to understand yeah?

Well, if that is too hard, be like them - apple polisher. Carry mattress here and there. Then can renew contracts for years. Next month - July 1st, we shall rejoice with the increase of electric tariff. Sugar price also increase. That is very good. Government is taking care of the people, alleviate them from getting diabetes. High carbohydrate in rice is not good for health. Increase the price of rice. Eat just one spoon of rice. Minister of Health sure happy.

All BN ministers and backbenchers keep quiet on the fuel price hike issue. That shows that they couldn’t care less about their voters’ suffering life.

Before election, Najib said fuel price would not increase this year. Too bad. Najib is not a hypocrite, just a little increase which is necessary. In 2004 RM1.37, 2005 RM1.62, 2006 RM1.92 and 2008 only RM2.70. In total, just an increase of RM1.33. Malaysia is rich. Our Prime Minister’s salary is RM60,000.00 a month. Sharizat Jalil’s salary is just RM33,000.00 a month.

Malaysians should not protest. There is no need to wait for minimum salary RM900.00 per month. You want a high salary, go become a minister or his advisor. But, you need to be active in AMNO lah. Because BN leaders are chosen by clueless village folks. As a leader, one should know what to do. Do not be like what Malays say ‘Ketam yang mengajar anaknya berjalan’, that is enough. Last time during Japanese occupation, Malaysians were forced to eat potatoes. Now we are back to what our grand grand mothers and father way of living. Hmm, potatoes at that time do not contain high carbohydrate. Please do not take a peep at ministers’ kitchens. They only eat potatoes, salted fish with salt and soy sauce.

We have many lands in villages; use it to cultivate some potatoes. Plant it in vase, on the roof, plant it anywhere. No need to plant rice. We just need to import from Vietnam and Thailand. Our leaders do not eat rice. They always go oversea, so they eat western food or sushi. Empty lands in the cities, we turn it into industrial area. Our leaders working so hard looking for foreign investors, it is only right we set aside some lands for them. Some say fuel price in Jordan, Venezuela, Mesir and other countries very cheap. I think government in those countries definitely knows shit about managing economy. If you are not happy, go and live there lah! Easy cheesy..

BN government is very smart. Nothing is mentioned about income tax. High income must pay higher tax. Village folks know what? Ministers, Tan Sris, Datuks, and their cronies have a lot of money. They must keep it to help people. Why need to pay income tax? It is so wonderful to be under AMNO and BN government. Like what my Malay teacher told me “Hujan emas di negeri orang, baik lagi hujan bom atom di negeri sendiri.”

ps: Thanks Mob’s Crib for his great posters!

Popularity: 7% [?]

Posted in BN-ism, Boleh-ism, Bolehland, Idiocy, News, Photos, Rage, Rants, Sarcastic, Social Issues | 15 Comments »