Chua Soi Lek – Yes. It was me. I want to stress that #themissingrmafengine is just a casual friend.
Lingam – Well, that’s not my engine. Sounds the same, looks similar but not #themissingrmafengine belong to me.
Rais Yatim – Boleh cakap Bahasa Melayu? Tidak boleh? Apa punya #themissingrmafengine, biarlah ia hilang. Tidak patriotik.
Hishammuddin Hussein - Why are we only looking at #themissingrmafengine? That is totally unfair because it is sensational? Ini bukan budaya kita. *unsheathe keris*
Nazri Aziz - Mahathir is a bloody racist for defending #themissingrmafengine
Mahathir – Apanama itu #themissingrmafengine? Saya tidak ingat.
Ong Tee Keat - Let’s have another EGM to decide the outcome of #themissingrmafengine
Samyvellu – Saya tidak mahu cakap banyak. Mereka boleh kata apa mereka suka. #themissingrmafengine bukan pengganti saya. Just rumours.
Tiong King Sing – Ong Tee Keat flew on my plane with #themissingrmafengine before. And he still owe me RM10mil for that.
Rosmah – If I found it, I will return #themissingrmafengine to the rightful owner. But I want my good deed to be published in MSM and the owner must reward me handsomely lah. NO, it is not in my hair damn it!
Najib – I don’t know #themissingrmafengine and I had never met it. I am busy with 1Malaysia.
Saiful Bukhari – I swear #themissingrmafengine is not in my ass.
Ezam - I have the boxes with information about #themissingrmafengine. I swear.
Ibrahim ‘Katak’ Ali – Ada banyak jenis enjin jet ni. #themissingrmafengine ini enjin jet bla bla bla Hidup Melayu! bla bla bla Kawe dok tunggu Umno jemput kawe join parti demo bla bla bla.
Syed Hamid Albar (if he’s still around as Home Minister) – Don’t worry. #themissingrmafengine is with me. I am locking it up under ISA to protect it.
Khairy Jamaluddin – I have sold all #themissingrmafengine for a loss.
Pak Lah – #themissingrmafengine? Zzzzzz zzzz
MACC – No. We never interrogated #themissingrmafengine. We only asked few questions and let it go.
Cow protestors - No. We never brought #themissingrmafengine with us. Only the cow head. And now it is missing too.
#Bendera invasion army – We got your jet engine! We captured #themissingrmafengine with our awesome bamboo sticks, bwahahahahaha! Yes, the invasion is still on.
Anwar Ibrahim – We have been talking to #themissingrmafengine and our takeover plan is still on. No we cannot reveal the engine number.
Pemuda PAS – #themissingrmafengine should not be allowed to come in Malaysia. It promotes hedonisme.
Alex Yoong – I am ashamed F1 1Malaysia doesn’t use #themissingrmafengine for its race car.
JAKIM – We have determined that #themissingrmafengine is halal.
Okay, I think that is enough. If I can think of any more quotes I will add to the post HA! HA! HA!
Watched 2012 last night. Didn’t plan it in advance, Ras only asked me in the evening to join him and Luk for movie at 8pm. When we reached there, the seats for 8pm show were sold out. Then we decided to watch the 10pm show but only after much deliberations.
The reason was because there were no better seats to choose from, with only the 2 rows at the front left. Luk and I didn’t want to sit at the front rows. We walked away from the counter but after much coaxing from Ras, I let in and Luk had no choice but to follow us back to the ticketing counter .
In the end, we decided to do this.
Only those seats with colour were available, together with the 1st and 2nd row from the screen. I sat at the red seat, Luk at the dark blue seat and Ras at the green seat. Initially, I jokingly asked Luk to seat at the yellow seat, me at the red seat and Ras at the light blue seat and that would be fun LOL!
So, have you ever been to movie with bunch of friends but end up sitting scattered around? Last night was my first time. Not referring to my sexual experience, duh! Wait, I’m a virgin at heart and mind.
What about 2012? Let me see. The special effects effects are incredibly awesome. You want to see kick ass, awesome explosions? 2012 has atomic bomb like explosion, better than any explosion you get in Die Hard installments, Armageddon, The Rock, GI Joe etc. You want earthquakes? Let’s send California sinking into the sea, shall we?
Fires everywhere, tsunamis flooding India, China, Japan. Even Mount Himalaya and Everest Peak are not spared from the gigantic waves. More people get killed in this movie alone than all the end of day movies combined. Yes, I kid you not. 2012 kills gazillion people without breaking a sweat and as usual, the hero and his family will survive against all odds, on cue for a happy ending.
The storyline sucks. If you’re looking for a reasonable perspective, don’t watch the movie. It offers none. In fact, it is kinda ridiculous, I’m going to offer some senseless ’morals of the story’ and ‘conclusions’ on my own after watching the movie.
1. Money talks. It pays to be rich and connected. It helps you to get somewhere and in this movie, to get your ass saved. Heh, locally, that is how it works, too. Or if you don’t have the dough, you have to be lucky. F*cking lucky not just lucky lucky.
2. Chinese are great builders, they can do crazy things with ridiculous deadline. And they care about their families, a lot. Oh ya, never say no to your grandmother if you’re Chinese.
3. Indians are the smartest people on earth and they always speak English in a very Indian way. Now how come that Tibetan Chinese speaks good English lol
4. Russians love fast cars, they talk in a very deep voice. Any Russian can do a voice over for Vin Diesel if he is having a bad sore throat. And Russians treat women like garbage.
5. The last president of the United States of America is black. And he has a hot daughter. Why the president in the movie always has a hot daughter?
6. The person with the inside scoops, the one with conspiracy theories which later proven true is always a crackpot. And crackpot always don’t shave.
7. Hero always has dysfunctional family. Overly stressed by Hollywood films, dramas. Cliche!
8. The world consists of just G8 countries. Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh ya, and Brazil. Eh, how come China is in? Oh, refer point 2.
9. Flying a plane is an easy feat, when you’re in a desperate situation.
10. Where ever the hero goes, disastrous trails follow closely behind. Literally. But not too close, just close enough for him to get away..
11. A lot of assholes can afford to fork out 1 billion Euro.
In my unworthy opinion, 2012 is just another doomsday movie. *yawn* Now, go get your ticket and sit for 2 hours to watch the entire continents destroyed!
ps: Couldn’t help but noticed some cinema goers are really fucking scums. Sit at your seat, follow the number written on your ticket, asshole! And fucking keep your phone in silent mode. Who cares if you have the coolest ringtone in town if you are an uncivilised fucker.
Michael: Hey, I’m in town. Just came back from Penang. Chill out tonight? Al Fresco. 8.30pm.
Me: Sure man, it’s been like what? 4 months? See you tonight.
8.30pm -1.30am
*chilling out session in progress with Michael and friends*
Me: Eh, let’s go to Cheerie Berries. Go ogle some chicks. We’ve been sitting here for 3 hours, I’m having butt cramps. Hanging out with all these ‘batangs’ any longer is hazardous to my health. *grinning*
Michael: HAHA! No dude, I’m feeling a bit drowsy and sleepy now. Think I should go back and have a good sleep. You go on.
Me: Arrrghhhh! Fine then. I’ll be a lone ranger tonight. You guys can go home and make love with your pillows.
1am -2.30am
So I went to Cheerie Berries alone. Not something that I would do, normally. I ordered a drink, sat at the bar, facing the stage where the Filipino band was playing, listening to the music. There was quite a crowd, but I didn’t see any familiar faces so I stayed put at my place.
Then, suddenly a girl came and sat next to me. Her back was facing me, so I couldn’t see her face. She was leaning a bit too close to me, but I thought well it’s a crowded place and being in a bar it’s more than an appropriate thing to do. *chuckles*
Anyway, I felt something was not right with the whole thing. This girl leaned closer to me now, she’s basically using my body as support and there were some ‘accidental’ touches as I lifted up my drink, she moved her hands and shaked her body to the music. It was like an invitation, a cue from the girl for me to take things further, maybe grab and hug her, judging from her body language and all the ‘accidental’ brushes.
By this time, she was sitting facing to the stage and I could see her side profile. I looked at the face and instantly my radar went *beep beep beep* alerting me “This is not your cup of tea! Abort! Abort!”. So I played dumb and continued my drinking, ignoring her ‘advances’.
A group of male Caucasians was dancing nearby. From their accents, I assumed they are the Queen’s subjects. The girl sat there for like 10 mins and probably was getting bored with the inaction on my part. She stood up and joined the Caucasians for dancing and started to do some ’sophisticated dance moves in front one of the guy.
The guy must be thinking she’s some sort of hot stuff so he grabbed her waist and they started to shake their bodies together. Things were obviously heating up for the ‘lucky’ couple because in a flash, they locked their lips and started kissing passionately ! And the rest of the guys watching nearby were cheering and whistling, prompting more intense actions from the couple. Friends of that guy were making funny face expressions like “Is this for real??” “WTF” among them.
Then a friend of that lucky guy asked me, “Dude, is that a bloke or a girl?” in his thick Brits accent. I replied him, “Er, I’m not really sure but I think your friend is kissing a bloke!”. *evil grins* He bursted out laughing and said, “Yeah, I thought the same!!” *knocking beer bottles*
Another friend of that lucky guy took out his camera and started snapping some photos and showed them to us. There were photos of the couple kissing passionately and we were particularly ‘thrilled’ by one photo showing a close up shot of the ‘girl’ face making some sort of ‘wild’ expression.
And holy crap, she is indeed a HE! A ‘HE’ with a layer of thin moustache-manly-hair above the lips! The facial features are clearly those of a man. I was pretty sure she’s a man and not a girl with manly face. The guy was still dancing and kissing his ‘lovely’ lady and the rest of us cheered them on, making thumbs up sign while laughing crazily among ourselves.
When the ‘burning hot action’ was over, the guy joined us and his friend told him of what happened. He was like “Ugh?? Really?” and he started making that “wiping mouth” gestures. After he saw that ‘manly’ photo of his date, he flashed a sheepish smile and laughed nervously. He then came to me and said, “Thank mate for the chance. It felt like kissing a man just now and there I was thinking – This is weird! – Not that I kissed a man before but it just felt not right when I kissed her.”
HAHAHAHA!
Lesson: If you are not sure, better don’t do it.
Some tips from experts, gathered from the comments, after I shared this story on my Facebook.
1. Check out the physique of the body lah. If it’s super lean with minimal fat around hips, arms, and very toned limbs, most likely it’s a ‘he’.
2. Next time pretend to point at something on the ceiling and get her to look up. Then see if you spot that Adam’s apple.
3. Ask her to strip. (not sure how this is to be done in public, lol!)
‘One liner’ comments are annoying at times, especially when you painfully wrote a long post and the comments you get are of those kind. Most of the times, those one liners are boring and worth shit, which is something to be expected when people drop comments for the sake of commenting.
But, I would definitely make an exception for one liners like these:
Lee Kuan Yew’s trip took him to five states, two of which are in opposition hands. He said the opposition states risk becoming economic laggards if the leaders refuse to cooperate with the federal government.
While he applauded the Penang state government’s efforts to improve governance, Lee said it would be all for naught if the state had little federal help to develop its infrastructure.
“I do not believe that he (Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng) can get the basic infrastructure up to mark without the support of the federal government and the federal government will only support him if he cooperates, and even then I’m not so sure,” Lee said.
********* Coming to Malaysia to teach us how to suck eggs, this old man.
After Altercation, No Further Discussion On Pork Price Hike – Associations
KUALA LUMPUR, June 11 (Bernama) — The Federation of Livestock Farmers Associations of Malaysia (FLSFA) and Selangor and Federal Territory Butchers Association will have no further discussion on the pork price hike after a heated argument broke out during a meeting on Tuesday.
FLSFA Pork Division director Jeffrey Beh said there would be no more discussion between the two associations after their meeting with Deputy Minister of Domestic Trade, Cooperatives and Consumerism Datuk Tan Lian Hoe that day ended in a verbal battle between the leaders.
“The butchers association members were behaving like gangsters. They were unreasonable and confrontational,” claimed Beh when contacted by Bernama.
He said after the heated exchange, the FLSFA representatives left the meeting.
********** Pork fight?
MIRI: Puzzled residents of Kampung Pujut have been flocking to Sungai Miri for the past five days to gawk at the headless carcass of a crocodile floating in the river.
Nobody knows who chopped its head off and removed its genitals, but the belief is that it could have been done to make traditional medicine.
” For the past two days, the stench has been unbearable,” said Ingkai Sulaiman yesterday.
He said many large crocodiles have been spotted on the banks, especially near the mouth of the river.
“I have seen at least 10 large crocodiles resting on the banks. Two were at least seven metres long.”
********* Must be a previous UMNO minister in his past life, this crocodile.
KUALA LUMPUR, June 9 (Bernama) — The Prime Minister’s wife Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor has urged husbands to follow the personality traits of Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak, a patient father, husband and leader.
“I have not come across anyone as patient as him (Najib),” she said when launching the book ‘Najib Perdana Menteri ke-6′ at Wisma Pertahanan here Tuesday.
Rosmah reminded husbands not to scold their wives as they too had responsibilities and were under pressure.
*********** What about the part you beat your husband? (This one is my favourite!)
A TV actor tried to make a quick escape – minus his clothes – when Selangor Religious Department (Jais) officers raided his fiancee’s apartment in Petaling Jaya, reported Harian Metro.
The actor, who appears in a mystic and horror TV series, managed to climb to the next unit’s balcony on the fifth floor at 3am recently.
Five Jais officers raided the apartment after receiving complaints from neighbours that the actor and his fiancee would meet up frequently at her home.
The woman, also in her 20s and an assistant producer in the TV series, told the officers that she lived alone.
The woman, who was dressed in a sleeveless top and skimpy shorts, allowed officers into her room where they found a pair of men’s trousers Jais Special Force Unit chief Shahrom Maarop said: “Further inspection found signs that a person had exited through the balcony.”
************ This guy should be in politics.
Zambry is MB, rules court
PUTRAJAYA, May 22 – The Court of Appeal today returned a unanimous decision that Barisan Nasional’s Datuk Zambry Abd Kadir is the rightful Perak mentri besar, ruling that his Pakatan Rakyat rival Datuk Seri Mohammad Nizar Jamaluddinn had ceased to command the majority in the Perak state assembly.
The judges also ruled that the Sultan was right in appointing Zambry the MB and that there was no need for a vote of no confidence in the House against Nizar.
The three-member Bench comprising Justices Md Raus Shariff, Zainun Ali and Ahmad Maarop delivered judgment after hearing submissions from both parties yesterday.
However, the Court of Appeal decision is not expected to bring an end to the crisis in Perak as the parties can still appeal to the Federal Court.
************ 3 Kangaroos and and Indian makes a mocking bird.
Manek Urai rep dies, another by-election now
KUALA LUMPUR, May 22 – Five-term Kelantan PAS lawmaker Ismail Yaacob died this morning at the Raja Perempuan Zainab II Hospital in Kota Bahru, paving the way for the seventh by-election since March last year. He was 60.
He died at 6am after succumbing to a long illness.
The Manek Urai assemblyman, who first won the seat in 1986, defeated Barisan Nasional’s Mohamed Zulkifli Omar by 1,352 votes in last year’s general election.
********** All elected chaps have short life?
GEORGE TOWN: Penang Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng hit out at MCA President Datuk Seri Ong Tee Keat for failing to practice what he had preached when he assumed the MCA presidency.
While praising Ong’s deputy, Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek, Lim hit out at Ong for repudiating and disassociating himself from Chua’s views that the Perak state legislative assembly should be dissolved and fresh elections called.
“Ong had promised that he would be an efficient president, who would ensure democracy is upheld and he would listen to the views of people,” Lim said at a press conference today.
“Just because he wants to obtain favour and support of Umno, he is going against what he preaches even though Perakians are demanding for fresh elections.
“His act can be considered a cowardly act unlike Chua who dares to do what Ong had promised but failed to deliver.”
********** Doc Chua has balls. That we all saw in the video. Big balls too.
ps: Blog is up and running, out of 425 posts, managed to get back 399 posts. I have no idea how the rest of the posts went missing, although I just did the backup yesterday. Luckily, I have Facebook Notes and Google Reader and those posts are intact – just a matter of posting them back. So, don’t be surprised to read the same shits in your feed, because yours truly is back-posting all the missing posts.
“I am mentally healthy, I have no injuriesand I will not commit suicide,” - Must let all friends, family know about this, to be safe :D 2 days ago
Namawee: “I am mentally healthy, I have no injuries and I will not commit suicide,” http://bit.ly/bSVUGD <-- hahaha! cheeky fella. 2 days ago
What say U? @NajibRazak RT @timmysay: Pn. Siti Insyak shud b given d same coverage as Namawee. A TASK FORCE shd b established to investigate 2 days ago
Jack Bauer! Huarghhh!! Chuck Norris is tough, but Jack Bauer is tougher. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.. 2 days ago
LadyBird: by looking at a glance on the road condition (based on the picture), it is much better as compared to miri-bakong road.... on The curse of the ’signboard’.
