X-treme, 9 Words ‘N’ Iris

I was lepaking with some friends last night for a little drinking session. A friend brought a bottle of scotch whisky -18 Year Old Macallan. Taste damn good haha! Very smooth.. I love it very much! 

(Image source : http://www.uncrate.com/men/images/the-macallan-18-year.jpg)

Back to the story, we were waiting for the host to come. The whisky was on the table (he passed the bottle to another friend on the last meeting) as we waiting for the host to turn up, let me share some of our conversations.

Ah Chong : Eh, open the bottle lah! What are we waiting for?

Ah Tat : Not so good lah. Wait for the owner to come first.

Ah Kao : Yalah, wait for the owner first lah! Patience my friend.

Then Ah Kao looked at me..

Ah Kao : Let me ask you, how do you describe extreme patience?

Me : What extreme patience? Extreme Makeover I know. Muahahahahaa!

Ah Kao : Imagine a naked girl lying under a banana tree with her legs spread open waiting for the ripe banana to drop.

Me and the rest : …………………… *silence* Muahahahahhahahahhahaha! Hoi! Sexist joke lah! (Lucky all hamsap guys.. hehe.. Hmm.. no Suituapui, not what you are thinking )

Me : What lah you! Ripe bananas do no drop okay! You think like durians? Crap!

Ah Kao : Joke lah brader.. Come on lah. Okay.. another one. So how do you describe extreme pain?

Me : No idea lah. Getting nailed from behind kot. (Hoh! Me not homophobic okay, just joking lah.. kakakaka! Hmm, not only gays main belakang.)

Ah Kao : Imagine an ant sliding down a razor blade and the razor blade is positioned between its balls. Ouch!

Me and the rest : Ha! Ha! Ha! Very funny.

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This is something men must know. For a relationship to last, to avoid arguments with women we as men must learn to read between the lines, hidden meanings, innuendos when they say these words.

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
Right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
Minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
And you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
Usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you’re welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying FARK YOU!

9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s
wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

Do not thank me. We are all in this together. So do not say I never warn you. Muahahahaha! Have a wonderful weekend my friends

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