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Love No One – Selfish?


I mentioned somewhere in Mar’s blog : Love is selfish. Let me explain why I think so. :cool:

1. Love me because I love you.

It is selfish to love people and expect them to love you back. Unconditional love. That is what you want to give him/her and what you want from him/her. People should give without wanting anything in return. Right. All other giving is selfish. By wanting her to love him in return, is not it selfish?

2. Loving someone is selfish.

Why? When you love a person, it means that you value that particular person, that he or she makes your life better, that he or she is an intense source of happiness and joy to you. You love someone because he or she is a value, a selfish value to you, as determined by your standards just as you are a value to him or her.

One will say in order to love, you sacrifice your time, effort and money to make it work and that is a selfless thing to do. :???: Well, the time, effort and money you spend on behalf of someone you love are not sacrifices, but actions taken because his or her happiness is crucially important to your own. Such actions would constitute sacrifices only if they were done for a stranger or for an enemy.

3. Experience love, it is the most selfish experience possible.

Yes, it is the most selfish experience possible. In the true sense of the term, it benefits your life in a way that involves no sacrifice of others to yourself or of yourself to others. When in love we feel that only both of us (or three or four? :razz: ) should exist in our own selfish space. We guarded the precious space jealously from others.

Love is a selfish emotion. One do not share his/her love for his/her other half with his/her friends or closed ones. Other emotions like happiness, sadness, frustration can be shared with friends/closed ones, but not the very love a person shares with his/her special one.

4. Love changes a person to be selfish

Love teaches you to be selfish. Emotions like possessiveness, obsession, jealousy sprouted from love albeit those are extreme forms of it. You cannot love someone by being neutral, you must be selfish.

5. Unconditional love

Is it possible for a person to love without wanting love back? Is anything so pure? Love is far too precious to be offered indiscriminately. Love represents an exalted exchange, a spiritual exchange between two people, for the purpose of mutual benefit. Pure love? Unconditional love? It is what we all are searching for but I think it only exists in soap dramas and movies. (Korean dramas especially. :neutral: Muahahahaha!)

Conclusion :

To say ‘I love you’ one must first know how to say ‘I’.

Love, friendship, respect, admiration are the emotional response of one man to the virtues of another, the spiritual payment given in exchange for the personal, selfish pleasure which one man derives from the virtues of another man’s character. Only a brute or an altruist would claim that the appreciation of another person’s virtues is an act of selflessness, that as far as one’s own selfish interest and pleasure are concerned, it makes no difference whether one deals with a genius or a fool, whether one meets a hero or a thug, whether one marries an ideal woman or a slut. — Ayn Rand

What do you think? Shoot!

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ps: Theme song for today is… No One! :razz:


Alicia Keys - No One

I just want you close
Where you can stay forever
You can be sure
That it will only get better
You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don’t worry ‘cuz
Everythings gonna be alright
People keep talking
They can say what they like
But all I know is everything’s gonna be alright

No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I’m feeling
No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you
You you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain

You and me together
Through the days and nights

I don’t worry cause
Everythings gonna be alright
People keep talking
They can say what they like
But all I know is everything’s gonna be alright

No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I’m feeling
No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you
You you
Can get in the way of what I feel

I know some people search the world
To find something like what we have
I know people will try
Try to divide
Something so real
So till the end of time
I’m telling you there is no one

No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I’m feeling
No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you
Oh oh oh…

pss: I expect feedbacks from the girls.. :XO:

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41 Responses to “Love No One – Selfish?”

  1. angeles wrote on Apr 25, 2008 at 1:41 pm

    :XO: :XO: :XO:

    Years ago, a guy friend told me that he doesn’t believe in love. He said love doesn’t exist. Of course at that time, I just rolled my eyes la, what else?

    What point did I want to make, huh? I dunno 😕

    Anyway, when ‘love’ (or lust? haha..) comes, just embrace it :XO:

    ps: I thot Fridays are meant to be fun fun fun… ini kena guna banyak sel otak tau… 😛

    –> Lusty Friday!!!!! I sebenarnya nak post lagu jer for Friday but always merapu till jadi a long entry.

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  2. angeles wrote on Apr 25, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    oh, i forgot to mention.. unconditional love, a mother’s love to her child… 😉

    the rest, tak dapat dipastikan, lagi.

    –> that i agree to certain extent. anyway for the sake of discussion, say if her child does not love her in return or become someone she hopes he/she will be in future, do you think the mother will still love her unconditionally? hmm.. maybe you are right, she loves her child too much it hurts her if her child not up to her expectations? so she’s hoping for something in return for her love? 😛 wah i am good at confusing people.. 😕 😕

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  3. angeles wrote on Apr 25, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    aiyah no need confuse confuse.. nxt time when u become a parent, you’ll know… 😉

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  4. zephyr wrote on Apr 25, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    *kepit batang dengan paha*

    ok now, Im not a guy liao, can comment….

    Im not yet found the special 1 so I tak ‘jual ikan’ la at the moment 😀 the only thing I can tell is having special feeling towards somebody is very suffering one, makes u until you also dunno what u actually wants 😕 and that time you are not really selfish 👿

    *ahhh~~~~released paha*

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  5. NoktahHitam wrote on Apr 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    love is just complicated.

    having sex-buddies is much easier. No strings attached 😯

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  6. Sarawak Laksa wrote on Apr 25, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    boy you hv confused me…unconditional love … is when you love and don’t expect anything in return fm the other party? am i right? This means, i hv unconditional love for Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Orlando Bloom and last but not least, Ananda Everingham! 😛

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  7. ahlost wrote on Apr 25, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    I love bongkersz.com .. hiak hiak hiak..

    –> i pun love rosewong.com … hyuk hyuk hyuk…

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  8. mar wrote on Apr 25, 2008 at 9:53 pm

    *aims*
    I can see the point you’re driving at…but I still think that love is not selfish. It’s the person who loves who makes it be selfish…We know unconditional love is God’s love and we’re not gonna touch on that…the other unconditional love is a mother’s love. No matter how much her child can hurt her she will always love him/her.No matter what! (and those mothers who are in the news for abusing their child etc…they shouldn’t be called mothers to begin with)…
    Anyhoo,as I said,its the person who loves who makes love seem to be selfish.Say A loves B and this love is purely love in which all A wants is for B to be happy…selfless love…if B is happy with A,so much better of course but if B chooses to be with C instead,then if A really loves B,A would let B go bcos if B is happy, A is happy…that is not selfish…
    But more often that not, being weak creatures we are,we love and expect love in return…and when we find love we want so much to keep it to ourselves that it smothers love, smothers the very person we love until they can’t breathe…and this never ends good…possesiveness, jealousy, etc etc etc…

    Conclusion: Love is not selfish. Its the person (and not everyone is like that) that loves that makes it seem selfish.

    I’ve never been in that situation (yet) but I hope that when I am,I will be able to love and not be selfish, though I’m sure it’s gonna be tough.

    *blows tip of pistol*

    …what you expect from the Most Amazing Romantic? LOL!!!! 😀

    –> more like a hopeless romantic to me. your conclusion is contradictory, ‘it is the person that loves that make is seems selfish.’ so the person is selfish therefore he loves selfishly, or the emotion of love make him become selfish? ‘person who loves make love seems selfish??’ so still it is love that makes the person become like that, because if the person is in other emotions, (not in love) those emotions not seem selfish?? question is, why we associate love is selfish if it is not? 🙂 so we are back to square one. you need to be more clear with your explanations 😕 😕

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  9. suituapui wrote on Apr 26, 2008 at 7:04 am

    To respond to your question to angeles, YES! Unconditionally…and she does not expect anything in return! This may not be applicable to ALL mothers though;it’s an individual thing! Like not everyone’s love is true…or selfish…or selfless…or whatever lah!!! Incidentally,…you must love me! :XO: …Ooi! I’m talking about the song lah! 😆 Selfish kan?

    –> It’s an individual thing, exactly 🙂 Hence we have this discussion because I may not be entirely right 😆

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  10. Chibster wrote on Apr 26, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    Love is selfish in a sense that with that special someone, you want to be first always. Just with that one person.

    Is it too much to ask, perhaps?

    –> people in general is selfish, so no, it it not too much to ask… to certain extent 🙂

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  11. Aisyah wrote on Apr 27, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    there are some truth in what you said. honestly, I don’t really know what to say because mostly, I don’t really undertsand about love. but I do know what you are talking about unconditional love. it’s like a mother’s love to her kids.

    also, I’ve experience the unconditional love thing, I guess. I GUESS. and not wanting anything in return. it… hurts? ouch.

    –> yea, i have experienced it too. i love jessica alba unconditionally and not wanting anything in return. 😛 it hurts, yes… 😥

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  12. drumsticks wrote on Apr 27, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    if your partner is right for you, and meant to be together, you would be able to love without too much conditions. you’ll act, think and feel better about yourself, your partner, and the world. the healthiness of the relationship will make you and your partner a better person. only my 2 cents. 🙂 still believe in unconditional love despite telling you love is selfish the other day. :p

    –> each of us believe in different things and that makes this world so interesting to live in? 😀 yes, of course many will believe/hope for unconditional love but is it possible? 🙂 guess me not that optimistic ha ha ha!>

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  13. drumsticks wrote on Apr 28, 2008 at 2:19 pm

    hehe.. try giving unconditional love to others and see how.. you might receive the same. start with me.. give me unconditional love.. 🙂 Would you?

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  14. NoktahHitam wrote on Apr 28, 2008 at 2:21 pm

    reply to me!

    [Reply]

  15. bongkersz wrote on Apr 28, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    so you have a lot of sex buddies dude? hehehe!

    [Reply]

  16. cheezzy cheese wrote on Apr 28, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    Loving someone is selfish? uwaaaaaaaaa!! 🙄

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  17. bongkersz wrote on Apr 28, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    –> that’s a lot of love to share! can i get some? 😛

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  18. Sarawak Laksa wrote on Apr 28, 2008 at 4:28 pm

    Of course you cannnn !!! Nah….here’s some 😛

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  19. AyUmi wrote on Apr 28, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    love hurt. titik.

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  20. chelsea wrote on Apr 28, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    I thought loving someone was more selfless than selfish. You sacrifice for the one you love, you make sure the one you love lives happily….

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  21. mar wrote on Apr 28, 2008 at 9:57 pm

    It is the PERSON that is selfish and thus loves selfishly…and I didn’t associate love with being selfish…

    …me memang hopeless romantic lah… :XO:

    [Reply]

  22. nono wrote on Apr 28, 2008 at 11:22 pm

    love love love..

    loving jessica alba? muahahah..

    [Reply]

  23. bongkersz wrote on Apr 29, 2008 at 10:59 am

    –> yes, love hurts.. sob sob

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  24. bongkersz wrote on Apr 29, 2008 at 11:01 am

    –> like i said, those are not sacrifices, but actions taken because his or her happiness is crucially important to your own. Such actions would constitute sacrifices only if they were done for a stranger or for an enemy.

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  25. bongkersz wrote on Apr 29, 2008 at 11:02 am

    –>love~!!

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  26. bongkersz wrote on Apr 29, 2008 at 11:04 am

    –> ehem 😛 reply you privately.. 😳 😳

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  27. ahlost wrote on Apr 29, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    😳

    [Reply]

  28. angeles wrote on Apr 29, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    mmm… do you think you can love more than one woman at a time? :XO:

    [Reply]

  29. bongkersz wrote on Apr 29, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    –> wah this is a trick question! yes, i love my mom, i love my sister, i love my gf, i love jessica alba, i love megan fox, i love pretty ladies out there.. :XO: :XO: :XO:

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  30. angeles wrote on Apr 29, 2008 at 4:30 pm

    actually, it’s not a trick question… it’s a serious question la… u see, some men say (or claim) that they takkan bercurang, takkan berpoya-poya, akan setia, faithful blablabla, but years on, hakikatnya tak sebegitu plak… heh heh…

    moral of the story, never say never 😉 ➡

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  31. Man-D wrote on Apr 29, 2008 at 9:36 pm

    Love wasn’t put in your heart to stay,
    because Love isn’t Love until you give it away 😉

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  32. Man-D wrote on Apr 29, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    bongkersz, this is for you…”I am here and you are there – one of us is in the wrong place!” 😛

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  33. suituapui wrote on Apr 30, 2008 at 7:51 am

    🙁 Waiyor!!!!! Almost a week already…and no new post!!! 😥 Ladies and gentlemen, should we pronounce this blog officially dead? 👿 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛

    [Reply]

  34. bongkersz wrote on Apr 30, 2008 at 10:25 am

    One week is pretty normal lah. eh, just 5 days what.. minus saturday and sunday and today, 2 days only 😆 😛 I post when I want to.. not when people ask me to muahahahaha! 😆

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  35. bongkersz wrote on Apr 30, 2008 at 10:27 am

    never say never yes… :up: you never know what are things in store for you right? LOL! 😀

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  36. bongkersz wrote on Apr 30, 2008 at 10:49 am

    haha! so to your place or my place to make it right then? 😛 😛

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  37. bongkersz wrote on Apr 30, 2008 at 10:50 am

    very deep…

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  38. Sarawak Laksa wrote on May 4, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    This is what I think…

    The Act of Love is not supposed to be selfish. But yes the people involved sometimes tend to be when in love. This is because love is a blinding experience that sometimes causes ‘hallucinations’. Thus the saying, Love is Blind. Love makes us do crazy things, no? Even when we know it is wrong. Love is like a drug. Everyone craves for some. Unconsciously it makes us selfish beings even without realising we are at times. Like the heroin addict who craves for heroine does not realise his addiction is wrong. Stealing for his next ‘hit’for example. Love in many cases can also be mistaken for possession. That’s when it becomes selfish. It is not supposed to be. Love causes us to lose control like heroin does to addicts. As for unconditional love, this form of love is indeed rare. Not all parents can even fulfill this requirement. However, it can be applicable to people we know not within our reach 😛

    What was I rambling on about? 😛

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  39. Sarawak Laksa wrote on May 4, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    heroin not heroine! typo 😛

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  40. bongkersz wrote on May 4, 2008 at 5:49 pm

    love is like a drug! :up: ehem, sarawak laksa very philosophical here.. keke! probably being out of love or ‘been there, done that’ will give us more perspective into this matter yeah? 🙂 so i trust your ‘rambling’ hahahaha! people that never really in love, craving for it.. and people that only in love but never get hurt because of it, will always think love is not selfish. it is pure.. oh so pure.. dang dang dang!

    *i must reply a rambling with another longer rambling.. it doesn’t really need to make sense.. 🙄

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