I woke up this morning and I received this sms. I reproduced it in its original content for you guys:
“Pengumuman! Dari “PETRONAS MAS” TAHNIAH! Sim card anda betua Memenangi undian Hadiah wang tunai RM,14.000 Sila Hubungi telefon: 006281511626057 Terimah kasih”
Yes!!!!!! I won RM,14.000!!!!! How much is that? Is is a lot??!! I want to go for a vacation!!!!
Come on lah, you want to con people, at least write a proper, convincing message. If your crap contains mix up language, a lot of spelling errors, wrong punctuation marks, improper uppercase and lowercase letters how are you going to scam people? Please hire me to be your consultant. For starter, I will tell you what the mistakes in the message above are for free. Consider it as a goodwill complimentary service from me.
1. WTF is PETRONAS MAS? PETRONAS is PETRONAS, MAS is MAS. Get it right. **
2. Sim card? Kad SIM, bodoh! You are sending out a message in Bahasa Melayu, keep it consistent. To make it more convincing, you probably should put Kad SIM Digi Prepaid or Kad SIM Maxis anda depends on the network provider the victims subscribe to.
3. Betua? Your grand betua. Betua is a place in Bangladesh, moron! The correct word should be ‘Bertuah’ – B.E.R.T.U.A.H
4. RM,14.000?? This is the dumbest mistake. Shove your head down the toilet bowl and flush it yourself, please. RM 14,000.00 or RM 14,000 more like it. By the way, why not make it RM 1,400,000? Bigger number attracts and sounds more convincing. Alang-alang menyeluk pekasam biar sampai ke pangkal lengan. (Strike the iron while it’s hot? Hahahaha!) What is RM 14,000? Cannot even buy a cheapo Proton car.
5. Terimah? Niamah I know. It is ‘Terima’ – T.E.R.I.M.A
6. Uppercase and lowercase letters, punctuations. A primary school student probably knows better how to use proper uppercase and lowercase letters.
So, do I get the job? I am qualified enough I think. I want to get 30% commission from each poor, gullible soul you manage to swindle. Please, contact me! *waiting in anticipation*
ps: Do you often get this kind of sms? I once received a sms from a girl. Obviously she sent it to the wrong person because she was talking about her overdue period and was worried. Her message: ‘Mas, sudah dua minggu periodnya tidak datang. Macam mana ini Mas, saya khuatir…’ (‘Mister, the period already due for 2 weeks. What we should do, Mister, I am worried..’) Mas is used by Indonesians to address young male. No, I didn’t copulate with anyone at that time, so it was not me
** Thanks to Melbie, and after some googling, I think PETRONAS MAS means PETRONAS MALAYSIA. 😛