After few times of going for movies ALONE, (yes, I went to few other movies alone after The Book of Eli but didn’t put up any review ehe. Oh yea, Legion sucks!) this time I may have the chance to watch it with bunch of cool peeps~!
Annna is thinking of having a movie gathering at MBO Cineplex, The Spring!
Hey, count me in lah!
I went to watch The Book of Eli last night. My first time on a movie outing, alone! I used to scoff at the idea of watching movie alone. Or shopping alone. Or eating alone. Not anymore, I guess. To think of it, I kinda get used of being a lone ranger since I started working in Miri. I would go out clubbing or chilling out with myself (ha! ha! ha!) when my friends – the usual suspects and partners in crime – had other plans out of town. It can be fun, I made some new friends that way. And of course being alone, you have no obligations, no limits.
.
I love the MBO Cineplex at The Spring!
Got my ticket!
Love this movie poster. Took this photo outside the cineplex.
The Book of Eli is a post apocalyptic film, seems to be one of the many popular genres for many movie producers and moviegoers nowadays. People just love these end of the world, survival of last humanity on earth, futuristic civilization kind of movies lately. We have 2012, District 9, I Am Legend, Cloverfield, Legion (crappy movie this one!), The Day After Tomorrow, Knowing, War of the Worlds, 28 Days Later, The Matrix Trilogy and many more. I just listed those I have watched off the top of my head ehe!
Let’s continue with the movie. Do not read further if you have not watch the movie and do not want to know the storyline. Not everyone loves spoilers. It is kinda funny, because a movie review or any other review is written for the benefits of those who have not experience the ‘thing’ by those who already did, so that they can make a decision whether they want to experience it or not, no?
1. Hero walks alone. Hero shoots a fur-less cat and eats it.
2. Hero talks to a rat, listening to songs (to hypnotise himself to sleep? I do it all the time). Hero reads a bible-looking book.
3. Hero is stopped by a group of baddies. Hero chops and slices baddies ala-Blade style. *chop chop chop* He continues walking, doesn’t even stop to help when he sees a gang of bikers killing innocent lives.
4. People in this period of time do barter trade eh? Hero goes and does some business. Villain is reading a book… on Mussolini? Wow! Gang of bikers meet with Villain and give him their loot. Villain wants books. I saw Da Vinci Code! Bikers have the wrong books. Villain is not happy. Why he’s sending illiterate people to find books? Hmm, why stupid people are leading this country, elected to office?
5. Villain is helping his concubine washing her hair. Impresses her about getting the last shampoo on earth.Yes, people in this movie don’t get to take shower.
6. Wow, so many cool people with shades in the bar. This is not a Rayban’s advert?C at fight. No, fight over a cat at the bar. Cat has more rights, since it’s here first. Sounds like a script written by Ibrahim Ali, woot! Hero takes out his awesome knife again. *chop chop chop* Good knife.
7. Hero is in a conversation with the the villain. Villain says something stupid. “Old farts like us, are the future”. Some Malaysian politicians would agree with this. Villain wants to make a deal. His machai is making it clear to Hero it is not a negotiable offer, “This is not a choice for you to make”. Hero coolly replies “There is always a choice. This is my choice, Kopi Tongkat Ali Ibrahim. My choice!“
8. Hero stays at Villain’s place for the night. Hero reads his book. Pretty chick walks into the room. Hero tries out a pick up line. “Like your perfume”. “Err.. not perfume, it’s my shampoo,” Pretty eyes and lips. Non anorexic version of Angelina Jolie. Slurrps. Pretty chick tries to seduce Hero. Hero rejects and invites her for meal. Hero takes her hands and prays to God before eating.
9. How to play chess, if you’re blind? Watch this movie to know. Breakfast time! Villain asks pretty chick about Hero. Pretty chicks tells him everything, and describes the book she saw. Villain now thinks Hero has the book he is looking for all this while. Hero is leaving Villain’s place. Shoot out! “You can’t hit me!!” Eh, this is a scene from Counter Strike game. *tratttt tattt tattt trattt* Hero continues his journey. Pretty chick follows secretly but Hero hears her. Pretty chick wants to make a deal. Hero and her go to fetch water. Hero traps her inside the ‘cave’. Hero continues his journey to the West.
10. Pretty chick walksalone. Hero walks alone. Baddies pursue in vehicles. Pretty chick is set upon by two baddies. They want to rape her! Baddie 1 stands up to unzip his trouser. *Zaapp!* A arrow piercing through his genital area. Ouch ouch! Another arrow, piercing through Baddie 2 neck. Both are dead.
11. Hero walks again with pretty chick following behind. “Hey, I’m been walking for 30 years. Follow your heart.” Hero is saying something Zen-ish. It is night time. Hero and pretty chick stop for a rest. Villain and gang also stop for a rest. Hero reads his book. Pretty chick wants to know about the book. Hero tells her some stories. Shares a verse from the book. Hero sleeps No, he is just pretending to be, because when pretty chick tries to peek at his book, he wakes up and scolds her. Pretty chick did see his name though. Eli. That is his name.
12. Hero and pretty chick reach a strange looking house and when tries to investigate, fall into a trap door. An old couple appears. Creepy couple. Husband built all the traps, because he’s was a handyman. Wife loves music and makes good sandwiches. Yum yum om nom nom. Wait. They show the burial site to Hero and pretty chick. Damn, those are human meat sandwiches. No more yum yum om nom nom. Hero and pretty chick want to leave the house.
13. Jeng jeng jeng. Villain and gang are waiting outside. Another scene from Counter Strike. Shoot out! *tratttt tattt tattt trattt* *bommm boommm powww* Bombs. Bazooka. Old granny is hit! She dies. Old grandpa goes crazy and running amok. Crooks deploy machine gun. *tratttt tattt tattt trattt* Old grandpa is hit! He dies too.
14. Hero and pretty chick face off with Villain and his bunch of crooks. Villain tells Hero to give him the book. “Not with me”, Hero lied. But he tells the book’s whereabout when Villain threatens to harm the pretty chick. Pusseh lah this hero. Villain gets the book and he shoots him in the stomach and leaves. Okay, Hero is just a normal human. Is he dead?
15.Pretty chick escapes and drives back to help Hero. Villain doesn’t want to follow, he’s low on fuel. Eh, Hero is walking still! He’s alive! Looks weak though. Pretty chick picks him up and they continue west, reach a bridge and row to this prison. Alcatraz? LOL! A group of survivors working to preserve pre-apocalypse knowledge.
You can stop reading now if you don’t want to know what book Eli is having and the rest of the ‘details’ about the movie. But I think it is obvious what kind of book he’s having in his possession, no?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
16. Hero tells the guard he has a copy of King James version of the Bible and allowed in.
17. Villain tries to open the book – now you know it’s the King James version of the Bible. It is is Braille and he cannot read it. He asks his wife to read for him which she refuses.She makes a comment about his leg, which was shot by Hero, apparently in a very bad condition now. He will die before he gets the chance to read the Bible.
18. Hero is blind? Oh, that is why he’s wearing shades? Wait, so many people in this movie are wearing shades. Damn, this is a good WTF moment. But it makes sense. Along the movie, it shows that the Hero always use his other senses, making references to other senses more often than the sense of sight.
19. Hero dictates the Bible from memory. Alcatraz reprints the Bible. He dies. Pretty chick pays him respect at his cemetery. The King James Bible is put next to The Torah and The Quran. Pretty chicks dressed up like Hero, taking his awesome knife with her and poses for the camera. End of story.
I think the film is trying to send a message that religion (in this movie, is represented by the Bible) can be used for good or perverted for evil. (Duh?) The Villain is trying to get the Bible to strengthen his rule over people by the mean of controlling them and their loyalties through…. well, religion. The Hero is trying to get the Bible to the West where it will be used as a foundation of a new society? Not sure about that, because I saw other holy books alongside the Bible hehehe..
Probably there were more ‘Elis’ out there with the same quest before him, to deliver the holy books to Alcatraz too? In the movie, for some strange reason, the Bible Eli had in his possession is the last existing copy – apparently all copies of it were destroyed- so how about another religious books??
Quite an okay movie. Can’t be too anal when watching movies. Sure some contradictions and WTF ending (he died? But he was like, impossible to kill, almost god-like for the most parts of the movie before he was shot..) in the movie will trouble you for example, a religious man on a religious quest.. killing mercilessly? *chop chop chop* Watch it for the actions, Denzel Washington, the pretty chick and forget the rest!.
Warning: Spoiler!
Watched 2012 last night. Didn’t plan it in advance, Ras only asked me in the evening to join him and Luk for movie at 8pm. When we reached there, the seats for 8pm show were sold out. Then we decided to watch the 10pm show but only after much deliberations.
The reason was because there were no better seats to choose from, with only the 2 rows at the front left. Luk and I didn’t want to sit at the front rows. We walked away from the counter but after much coaxing from Ras, I let in and Luk had no choice but to follow us back to the ticketing counter .
In the end, we decided to do this.
Only those seats with colour were available, together with the 1st and 2nd row from the screen. I sat at the red seat, Luk at the dark blue seat and Ras at the green seat. Initially, I jokingly asked Luk to seat at the yellow seat, me at the red seat and Ras at the light blue seat and that would be fun LOL!
So, have you ever been to movie with bunch of friends but end up sitting scattered around? Last night was my first time. Not referring to my sexual experience, duh! Wait, I’m a virgin at heart and mind.
What about 2012? Let me see. The special effects effects are incredibly awesome. You want to see kick ass, awesome explosions? 2012 has atomic bomb like explosion, better than any explosion you get in Die Hard installments, Armageddon, The Rock, GI Joe etc. You want earthquakes? Let’s send California sinking into the sea, shall we?
Fires everywhere, tsunamis flooding India, China, Japan. Even Mount Himalaya and Everest Peak are not spared from the gigantic waves. More people get killed in this movie alone than all the end of day movies combined. Yes, I kid you not. 2012 kills gazillion people without breaking a sweat and as usual, the hero and his family will survive against all odds, on cue for a happy ending.
The storyline sucks. If you’re looking for a reasonable perspective, don’t watch the movie. It offers none. In fact, it is kinda ridiculous, I’m going to offer some senseless ’morals of the story’ and ‘conclusions’ on my own after watching the movie.
1. Money talks. It pays to be rich and connected. It helps you to get somewhere and in this movie, to get your ass saved. Heh, locally, that is how it works, too. Or if you don’t have the dough, you have to be lucky. F*cking lucky not just lucky lucky.
2. Chinese are great builders, they can do crazy things with ridiculous deadline. And they care about their families, a lot. Oh ya, never say no to your grandmother if you’re Chinese.
3. Indians are the smartest people on earth and they always speak English in a very Indian way. Now how come that Tibetan Chinese speaks good English lol
4. Russians love fast cars, they talk in a very deep voice. Any Russian can do a voice over for Vin Diesel if he is having a bad sore throat. And Russians treat women like garbage.
5. The last president of the United States of America is black. And he has a hot daughter. Why the president in the movie always has a hot daughter?
6. The person with the inside scoops, the one with conspiracy theories which later proven true is always a crackpot. And crackpot always don’t shave.
7. Hero always has dysfunctional family. Overly stressed by Hollywood films, dramas. Cliche!
8. The world consists of just G8 countries. Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh ya, and Brazil. Eh, how come China is in? Oh, refer point 2.
9. Flying a plane is an easy feat, when you’re in a desperate situation.
10. Where ever the hero goes, disastrous trails follow closely behind. Literally. But not too close, just close enough for him to get away..
11. A lot of assholes can afford to fork out 1 billion Euro.
In my unworthy opinion, 2012 is just another doomsday movie. *yawn* Now, go get your ticket and sit for 2 hours to watch the entire continents destroyed!
ps: Couldn’t help but noticed some cinema goers are really fucking scums. Sit at your seat, follow the number written on your ticket, asshole! And fucking keep your phone in silent mode. Who cares if you have the coolest ringtone in town if you are an uncivilised fucker.
You guys probably watched Bee End Downfall Parody already. Little that I know some UNIMAS students made a parody of Sembilu 2005 before. (Or so they claimed) Damn this video is hillarious! Well, provided you understand the language. It is in Bahasa Melayu Sarawak.
Let me teach you some of the words in Bahasa Melayu Sarawak, so you can put it to good use later. Just that day Aeropama and Noktah Hitam said they had no freaking idea what Nono and I were talking about in the comment box when we started to chat in Bahasa Sarawak.
