I’m going to make it short. Real short this time because Noktah Hitam said, I can never write a short post.
2009 wrap-up
Start. Sold off old ride at a loss. Bought a new car. Ridden with more debts. Moved from KL to Miri. Made more new friends. I love Miri. Stayed at Hilltop, rented a room. Pissed off with the landlady, moved to Permyjaya, renting a house. Addicted to Twitter. Less blogging. Photog sessions. Bought my first baju raya, maroon colour. Went Raya visiting. Series of misfortunes. Blurry eyes. Family problem. Fucked up old man. Screwed by crazy dude. Almost. Relationship problem. Money problem. Knocked a lamp post. Escaped without a scratch. Car banged up real bad. Insurance paid RM8k to fix. Poor Sarah. Assigned to work at Lahad Datu. Flew so many times in 2009, kinda sick of it. I miss KL. The people. Lovely friends. No vacations this year. Philippines trip canceled. Typhoon. H1N1. Busy work schedule. Life is getting better. Good times with crazy friends. <3 them. Shit I use <3 in my blog! Bimbo much. Modeled for photoshoot. Sort of. Saja tumpang sekaki. Paid off big chunk of debts. Many friends getting married. Free N900 to play with. New job offer. Kuching here I come. Am so ready for 2010. End. Oh wait, I’ve changed my blog hosting too! End.
Leave you guys with these awesome pictures.
Meet Incredible Sergent Saunders N. Tharmendran, ‘double handedly’ carried two jet engines worth RM100 mil, sold it as scrap metals. Photo credit to Durvy.
This is how MU grabs your balls. Ref’s balls. Officials balls. Your balls. Literally. Spot this at a store in Lahad Datu. RM4.99 only. Cheap. And stretchable. Many puns memang intended.
I just came back from watching EPL football games with my friends. I’m still wide awake, so I thought that why don’t I pent down something for this God forsaken blog.
My life is really in a mess this month. Never before I have such amount of bad things happened to me in just a short period of my life. Yes, I’ve been through a lot in my short life span of 26 years especially the past 5 years, but this month takes the cake, really. Starting from early of the month until yesterday, I was constantly bombarded by unwanted incidents and encountered bad mojos.
Some of you may aware of the latest mishap happened to me. I was involved in a car accident yesterday. I went to friend’s place for his open house invitation yesterday then proceeded to Al Fresco to have some drinks with friends, then went back home. I was quite sleepy so I drove a little bit faster than usual. My mobile phone battery was dead as well. While making a turn at this one roundabout, I accelerated along the straight road and wasn’t aware of a Pajero 4WD in my lane suddenly slowing down. Probably the driver was stopping by for God knows the reason why .
I hit on the brake when I saw the 4WD, but I realised it was too late before I would hit the 4WD with my driving speed. In that split second, I swerved to the left side of the road hoping I could stop at the green area. Apparently I was a bit too fast, my car moved forward and knocked the lamp post and stopped. If not for the lamp post, I would end up in the roadside drain.
I came out and inspected my car. Oh shit, the damage to car was quite serious. The front skirt came off and flew few metres away from the car. The left tyre burst, the radiator wreaked together with the both front lamps. The front part of the car was smashed in and down, I couldn’t even lift the hood up. I couldn’t call anyone with my mobile phone because its battery was dead, so I just stood there until a car stopped by and it turned out the guy was from a repair workshop. Cut the story short, he sent me back home with his car and asked his workshop to tow my car away.
I must thank the unseen, invisible divine forces for protecting me and keeping me alive. This is the 2nd time I involved in a considerably serious, which could be a fatal, life threatening accident but I escaped with not a single scratch this time. My previous accident happened when I was working in Puchong, Selangor where I was knocked down in my motorbike by a lorry. I narrated the incident here, complete with diagrams and everything
I was involved in a messy affair early of this month, which the person threatened to harm me for some misunderstanding and paranoia on his part, then I had problem with my eyes, my phone dropped and damaged to the extent it is still working poorly but somehow bearable, something happened back home where a member of the family disappointed me again with his actions, my blog was down and I screwed up during the simple upgrade to the blog platform, which wiped out most of the uploaded data for the past few months. Before my accident last night, I went to withdraw some money and while I checked the balance for my another bank using the ATM card, it was suddenly swallowed by the machine. I am emotionally exhausted with my personal relationship, where some complications appearing at some point.
Despite all this, I am glad I am still taking it all in a stride and just shrugged it off and just assumed that bad luck demon is making its visit. Just bear with me with my whiny posts, status updates and tweets for the time being. I’m grateful to have good people around me taking care of me and offering helps when I need them and for that I say thanks!
Life will be definitely better after this. When you hit rock bottom, there’s no other way but to go up, right? This is just a phase that I need to overcome in order to appreciate good things in life better. Wish my the best and all the lucks please Off to sleep now, you guys take care!
ps: Thanks to many friends who called and sent messages, dropping comments asking me of my situation when they received the news. I’m good and hey here I am writingsomething for you guys to read hehe…
Let’s talk about career. Do you love your job? Is it what you wanted to be? Do you still remember what you wrote for the essay ‘My Ambition’ when you were in primary school? Do you remember when you told your mother, “Mom, I want to become Satria Baja Hitam when I grow up.” *doing that hand pose thing* Your mom laughed and said “No dear, you can’t be a Satria Baja Hitam. I think you should be a dentist.” And you asked, “Why mom?” which your mother replied, “Because dentists make good money“.
Tendangan Padu Maut!!
Let’s talk about marriage. Life partner. Do you love your partner? Is she/he who you wanted to be with? Do you still remember want you wrote in your little diary “I want to marry a rich man” or “I want to have a pretty and sexy wife”? Do you remember what your mother told you? “Boy boy, when you grow up and you want to find a wife, go to Kajang.” And you asked, “Why mom?” which your mother replied, “Because people in Kajang have beautiful teeth“. You then asked, “But mom you are from Sekinchan?” which your mom replied, “That’s why your mom doesn’t have nice teeth.”
ps: I’m in the wrong field, because obviously the kid in the conversation above was not me. I want to earn RM56,000 a month pulling teeth! An implant alone can net me RM40,000! Sob sob sob.. I’m missing out all the good things.
pss: No offence to Sekinchan people. Laugh lah a bit.. if you have beautiful teeth..
pss: Satria Baja Hitam was my favourite 4pm show last time. And Gaban.
T H E S U F F E R I N G K U K U J I A O
screenplay by
BONGKERSZ
1st draft
February 03, 2009
DARKNESS. THE SOUND OF DOOR OPENING.
FADE IN:
INT. DIRTY TOILET – DAY (DIMLY LIT)
A man’s face BACKS INTO SHOT. He is tense and wide-eyed with concentration staring ahead.
This is THE MAN – mid-20’s, with brown, intense eyes, reasonably leng chai. He wears a light brown jacket over a striped dark brown shirt. He has spiky dyed dark brown hair.
THE MAN’S POV -
The urine hitting the toilet bowl. Sounds — heavy stream of piss hitting the toilet water.
CLOSE ON THE MAN – LOW ANGLE FROM REAR
THE MAN is zipping his jean. Suddenly, (sounds — groan — swearing words — in Chinese accented English)
THE MAN
– Oh F**k! (expletive) –
****************************************
Yes. I choked my penis. Wait. Not choke. I ’scratched’ it. How it happened? Well well.. I wear boxer shorts most of the time as I prefer boxers over briefs. For me, it is more comfortable. Hmm, could be because it is more ”windy and loose”. Hey we men don’t need our manhood to be supported, perked in place like the ladies. We love it hanging free. Ha! Ha! Ha!
I have this one particular boxer that I love very much so despite the boxer losing its button (the only button to trap your kukujiao in) I still wear it. So on that day, during CNY visiting after having too much drinks I went to toilet and did my small business as scripted above.
After finished my small business and in a middle of hurrying to join my friends outside, I zipped my jean without realising I had some of the shaft of my kukujiao peeking out of my zipper through the ‘unsecured’ boxer. I zipped up my zipper, and it zipped up over the skin of my shaft!! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
I frozed on the spot, thinking I would spend a longer time in the toilet playing releasing my kukujiao from its agony. But, somehow I managed to unzipped it after few tries and muffled cries. Sob sob sob!
The result: A little grooves, that look like small scratches, kinda hurt if you touch the area.
(Image not to scale, already scale down to fit your monitor’s screen).
Sorry, no real photos.. this is the best I can do. No need to thank me for saving you from ‘eye-burn’.
Well, it healed perfectly if you ask, that is why I am posting this, else I would be busy nursing it no? All is good with my kukujiao now. Long live the kuku!
ps: You like your guy with boxer or brief? *wink wink!*
pss: Handle kukujiaos with care, irrespective of the owner.
“I am mentally healthy, I have no injuriesand I will not commit suicide,” - Must let all friends, family know about this, to be safe :D 2 days ago
Namawee: “I am mentally healthy, I have no injuries and I will not commit suicide,” http://bit.ly/bSVUGD <-- hahaha! cheeky fella. 2 days ago
What say U? @NajibRazak RT @timmysay: Pn. Siti Insyak shud b given d same coverage as Namawee. A TASK FORCE shd b established to investigate 2 days ago
Jack Bauer! Huarghhh!! Chuck Norris is tough, but Jack Bauer is tougher. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.. 2 days ago
LadyBird: by looking at a glance on the road condition (based on the picture), it is much better as compared to miri-bakong road.... on The curse of the ’signboard’.
