Friday, August 22nd, 2008 4,297 views
Soalan bocor kertas karangan Bahasa Melayu Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia 2009.
Bahagian A: Pemahaman
Baca cerpen di bawah dengan teliti dan kemudian jawab soalan berikutnya dengan menggunakan perkataan anda sendiri.
Pada suatu hari ketika Saiful sedang membancuh kopi Ali Cafe di sebuah kondo yang dirahsiakan lokasinya, Perogol datang mendekati Saiful dengan wajah penuh nafsu berahi. Perogol merasa amat gersang kerana sudah sekian lama tidak mengecapi nikmat bercumbu dan nekad untuk meratah tubuh Saiful dengan kesempatan berdua-duaan yang ada ini. Perogol lantas berkata, “Mari Saiful ku sayang, mari sini hahahahaha!” Saiful berasa ketakutan dan menjawab, “Eh jangan… tak mahu.. aku tak rela, tolong-tolong tak mahu!” Perogol tidak mempedulikan rayuan Saiful lalu dengan bengis mengherdik “Aku kata mari-mari! Cepat!! buka seluar!!”
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Popularity: 32% [?]
Posted in BeeEm, Fun, Sarcastic | 107 Comments »
Monday, July 21st, 2008 380 views
The pantun is a Malay poetic form. The pantun originated as a traditional oral form of expression. The first examples to be recorded appear in the 15th century in the Malay Annals and the Hikayat Hang Tuah. The most common theme is love.
(Source: Wikipedia)
I love pantun and puisi very much. I joined pantun competitions among classes and I wrote ‘puisi’ (poetry) to be submitted when there were poem writing competitions my secondary school time 
I won once for the poem writing competition but I am not going to tell you what I wrote hahaha! 
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Popularity: 16% [?]
Posted in BeeEm, Facebook, Friends, Pantun, Silly | 20 Comments »
Friday, June 20th, 2008 25 views
Monolog Seekor Kambing Tua
Dulu…
Dulu aku dan kau bukan main lagi kamceng…
Dulu aku dan kau kawan baik…
Dulu aku selalu puji kau…
Dulu aku sembah-sembah kau…
Dulu aku selalu main berdiri di belakang kau..
Dulu aku sentiasa sedia dengan ayat power gila babi aku “Berdiri Teguh Di Belakang Kau”
Dulu aku tidak pernah miss soru buat banner “Menyokong Penuh Kepimpinan Kau”
Sekarang…
Sekarang kau tikam aku dari belakang!!??
Sekarang kau panggil aku racist!!??
Bedebah kau!
Kita putus kawan!! 
Popularity: 6% [?]
Posted in BeeEm, Humour, Personalities, Politics, Sarcastic | 16 Comments »
Tuesday, May 13th, 2008 84 views
I woke up this morning and I received this sms. I reproduced it in its original content for you guys:
“Pengumuman! Dari “PETRONAS MAS” TAHNIAH! Sim card anda betua Memenangi undian Hadiah wang tunai RM,14.000 Sila Hubungi telefon: 006281511626057 Terimah kasih”
Yes!!!!!! I won RM,14.000!!!!! How much is that? Is is a lot??!! 
I want to go for a vacation!!!! 
Come on lah, you want to con people, at least write a proper, convincing message. If your crap contains mix up language, a lot of spelling errors, wrong punctuation marks, improper uppercase and lowercase letters how are you going to scam people? Please hire me to be your consultant. For starter, I will tell you what the mistakes in the message above are for free. Consider it as a goodwill complimentary service from me.
1. WTF is PETRONAS MAS? PETRONAS is PETRONAS, MAS is MAS. Get it right. **
2. Sim card? Kad SIM, bodoh! You are sending out a message in Bahasa Melayu, keep it consistent. To make it more convincing, you probably should put Kad SIM Digi Prepaid or Kad SIM Maxis anda depends on the network provider the victims subscribe to.
3. Betua? Your grand betua. Betua is a place in Bangladesh, moron! The correct word should be ‘Bertuah’ - B.E.R.T.U.A.H
4. RM,14.000?? This is the dumbest mistake. Shove your head down the toilet bowl and flush it yourself, please. RM 14,000.00 or RM 14,000 more like it. By the way, why not make it RM 1,400,000? Bigger number attracts and sounds more convincing. Alang-alang menyeluk pekasam biar sampai ke pangkal lengan. (Strike the iron while it’s hot? Hahahaha!) What is RM 14,000? Cannot even buy a cheapo Proton car.
5. Terimah? Niamah I know. It is ‘Terima’ - T.E.R.I.M.A
6. Uppercase and lowercase letters, punctuations. A primary school student probably knows better how to use proper uppercase and lowercase letters.
So, do I get the job? I am qualified enough I think. I want to get 30% commission from each poor, gullible soul you manage to swindle. Please, contact me! *waiting in anticipation* 
ps: Do you often get this kind of sms? I once received a sms from a girl. Obviously she sent it to the wrong person because she was talking about her overdue period and was worried. Her message: ‘Mas, sudah dua minggu periodnya tidak datang. Macam mana ini Mas, saya khuatir…’ (’Mister, the period already due for 2 weeks. What we should do, Mister, I am worried..’) 
Mas is used by Indonesians to address young male. No, I didn’t copulate with anyone at that time, so it was not me 
** Thanks to Melbie, and after some googling, I think PETRONAS MAS means PETRONAS MALAYSIA.
Popularity: 7% [?]
Posted in BeeEm, Humour, Idiocy, MISC, Sarcastic | 43 Comments »
Friday, May 9th, 2008 20 views
Mari kita teliti beberapa laporan berita di bawah:
Utusan Malaysia: 22 March 2008
Dalam pada itu, Peguam Negara, Tan Sri Abdul Gani Patail dalam kenyataannya sebelum ini menjelaskan urusan pelantikan Menteri Besar Terengganu terletak sepenuhnya pada Pemangku Raja dan MPPR negeri itu.
Katanya, Yang di-Pertuan Agong, Sultan Mizan Zainal Abidin sedar tentang peruntukan tersebut yang baginda tidak boleh mencampuri urusan pelantikan Menteri Besar di negeri berkenaan.
Menurut Abdul Gani, berdasarkan kepada Perkara 34 (1) Perlembagaan Persekutuan, Seri Paduka tidak boleh menjalankan fungsi sebagai Raja Negeri Terengganu melainkan sebagai Ketua Agama Islam.
‘‘Sehubungan itu, Yang di-Pertuan Agong tidak mempunyai calon sendiri bagi mengisi jawatan Menteri Besar. Baginda menyedari hakikat bahawa urusan pelantikan Menteri Besar terletak sepenuhnya pada Pemangku Raja dan Majlis Penasihat Pemangku Raja.
‘‘Justeru, baginda tidak mempunyai apa-apa peranan di bawah undang-undang dalam pelantikan tersebut,’’ kata Abdul Gani.
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Utusan Malaysia: 5 Mei 2008
KUALA LUMPUR 5 Mei – Pengerusi DAP, Karpal Singh terus mempertikaikan tindakan Sultan Perak menitahkan Menteri Besar menarik balik arahan pertukaran Pengarah Jabatan Agama Islam Perak (JAIP), Datuk Jamry Sury, yang disifatkannya sebagai campur tangan istana dalam pentadbiran negeri.
Sambil mengingatkan Istana Perak supaya memahami kuasa terhad raja-raja, Karpal menekankan bahawa “rakyat kini tidak lagi hidup dalam zaman feudal.’’
‘‘Sultan dan Yang di-Pertuan Agong perlu bertindak atas nasihat pihak eksekutif (kerajaan). Sultan Perak tidak ada hak di bawah undang-undang untuk campur tangan dalam keputusan kerajaan negeri menukar Jamry sebagai Pengarah JAIP,” katanya pada sidang akhbar di Parlimen yang turut dihadiri anaknya, Gobind Singh Deo (DAP-Puchong).
Ahli Parlimen Bukit Gelugor itu memetik kes Mahkamah Persekutuan pada 1982, yang menurutnya jelas menunjukkan urusan membabitkan kakitangan awam sama ada patut dipindah dan ke mana hendak dipindah adalah di bawah bidang kuasa kerajaan negeri.
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The Star Online: March 24, 2008
The appointment of anyone but Datuk Seri Idris Jusoh as Terengganu Mentri Besar is unconstitutional, said Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.
Umno vice-president Datuk Seri Mohd Ali Rustam, met outside Seri Perdana, said Abdullah and Najib had given their support for Idris to be the Mentri Besar.
He said it was the decision of the party that won the majority in the state assembly to select the Mentri Besar and the Ruler had to abide by it according to the Constitution.
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Malaysiakini: May 8th, 2008
Barisan Nasional backbenchers are now pressuring the government to take action against the seasoned politician to determine whether he had committed treason, which is punishable by death.
Karpal came under heavy fire from the backbenchers over his two highly critical remarks lately over the transfer of a state top religious official in Perak, which he has described the palace’s involvement in the matter as “unconstitutional”.
Er, mengapa tidak ada laporan polis dibuat ke atas Gani Patail? Apakah kenyataan Abdullah Ahmad Badawi tidak ‘menghina’ kedaulatan raja-raja? Tidakkah Ali Rustam harus dikenakan tindakan kerana menyatakan bahawa sultan harus mematuhi perlembagaan? Bukankah kenyataan Karpal Singh lebih kurang sama dengan kenyataan oleh Gani Patail, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi dan Ali Rustam? (Tengku Adnan juga terlibat membuat kenyataan ketika kontroversi perlantikan Menteri Besar Terengganu tetapi saya malas membuat carian) Oh sungguh ketara sikap pilih lam phar bulu, ‘double standard’ oleh mereka ini.
ps: I sort of ‘plagiarized’ this post from here shamelessly! Lazy to write a new entry, so I modified a bit.
pss: Please somebody buy those 3 goats some mirrors.
psss: Omaigoat, would I be charged for sedition for using the ‘lam phar’ word together with Pak Lah in a sentence? 
I changed the title, replaced it with ‘Oi’. Yes I got no balls of steel.
pssss: Sorry for the ‘lam phar’ related posts lately. Like Suituapui said, mating season???
Popularity: 6% [?]
Posted in BN-ism, BeeEm, Boleh-ism, Bolehland, Bootlickers, Democracy, Idiocy, Mainstream Media, News, Politics | 1 Comment »
Well applied, dude….well applied! 
This was actually my...
