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2012, sort of a movie review. Warning: Spoiler


Warning: Spoiler!

Watched 2012 last night. Didn’t plan it in advance, Ras only asked me in the evening to join him and Luk for movie at 8pm. When we reached there, the seats  for 8pm show were sold out. Then we decided to watch the 10pm show but only after much deliberations.

The reason was because there were no better seats to choose from, with only the 2 rows at the front left. Luk and I didn’t want to sit at the front rows. We walked away from the counter but after much coaxing from Ras, I let in and Luk had no choice but to follow us back to the ticketing counter .

In the end, we decided to do this.

Only those seats with colour were available, together with the 1st and 2nd row from the screen. I sat at the red seat, Luk at the dark blue seat and Ras at the green seat. Initially, I jokingly asked Luk to seat at the yellow seat, me at the red seat and Ras at the light blue seat and that would be fun LOL!

So, have you ever been to movie with bunch of friends but end up sitting scattered around? Last night was my first time. Not referring to my sexual experience, duh! Wait, I’m a virgin at heart and mind.

What about 2012? Let me see. The special effects effects are incredibly awesome. You want to see kick ass, awesome explosions? 2012 has atomic bomb like  explosion, better than any explosion you get in Die Hard installments, Armageddon, The Rock, GI Joe etc. You want earthquakes? Let’s send California sinking into the sea, shall we?

Fires everywhere, tsunamis flooding India, China, Japan. Even Mount Himalaya and Everest Peak are not spared from the gigantic waves. More people get killed in this movie alone than all the end of day movies combined. Yes, I kid you not. 2012 kills gazillion people without breaking a sweat and as usual, the hero and his family will survive against all odds, on cue for a happy ending.

The storyline sucks. If you’re looking for a reasonable perspective, don’t watch the movie. It offers none. In fact, it is kinda ridiculous, I’m going to offer some senseless  ‘morals of the story’ and ‘conclusions’ on my own after watching the movie.

1. Money talks. It pays to be rich and connected. It helps you to get somewhere and in this movie, to get your ass saved. Heh, locally, that is how it works, too. Or if you don’t have the dough, you have to be lucky. F*cking lucky not just lucky lucky.

2. Chinese are great builders, they can do crazy things with ridiculous deadline. And they care about their families, a lot. Oh ya, never say no to your grandmother if you’re Chinese.

3. Indians are the smartest people on earth and they always speak English in a very Indian way. Now how come that Tibetan Chinese speaks good English lol

4. Russians love fast cars, they talk in a very deep voice. Any Russian can do a voice over for Vin Diesel if he is having a bad sore throat. And Russians treat women like garbage.

5. The last president of the United States of America is black. And he has a hot daughter.  Why the president in the movie always has a hot daughter?

6. The person with the inside scoops, the one with conspiracy theories which later proven true is always a crackpot. And crackpot always don’t shave.

7. Hero always has dysfunctional family. Overly stressed by Hollywood films, dramas. Cliche!

8. The world consists of just G8 countries. Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh ya, and Brazil. Eh, how come China is in? Oh, refer point 2.

9. Flying a plane is an easy feat, when you’re in a desperate situation.

10. Where ever the hero goes, disastrous trails follow closely behind. Literally. But not too close, just close enough for him to get away..

11. A lot of assholes can afford to fork out 1 billion Euro.

In my unworthy opinion, 2012 is just  another doomsday movie. *yawn* Now, go get your ticket and sit for 2 hours to watch the entire continents destroyed!

ps: Couldn’t help but noticed some cinema goers are really fucking scums. Sit at your seat, follow the number written on your ticket, asshole! And fucking keep your phone in silent mode. Who cares if you have the coolest ringtone in town if you are an uncivilised fucker.

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21 Responses to “2012, sort of a movie review. Warning: Spoiler”

  1. ErnieJean wrote on Nov 13, 2009 at 5:02 pm

    Aiyo……regret reading your spoiler lah…….was planning to go catch it leh…..

    But ok lah…was planning to watch it for the specials effect too…..story line’s always the same with these disaster movies, huh?

    [Reply]

  2. atreyu strange wrote on Nov 13, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    So,… what’s the spoiler about again?? =.=

    [Reply]

    bongkersz Reply:

    @atreyu strange, er.. spoiler.. so many leh above. the storyline.. bla bla. sort of. the gist of the story. who involved. how and what. just connect the dots, me not going to tell it from A-Z lol 😀

    [Reply]

    atreyu strange Reply:

    @bongkersz, ouhh, that’s the spoiler? I thought you giving the synopsis coz dang, that is sooOoooOoo PREDICTABLE! Gaaaaahhhh!!….

    [Reply]

    bongkersz Reply:

    @atreyu strange, look up the meaning spoiler hehe 😛

    atreyu strange Reply:

    @bongkerz, thought you understood the sarcasm. oh well.

  3. Fabian wrote on Nov 13, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    I got my predictions there. Well, almost…(minus points 2, 3, 4, 5, 8 & 11). Cos’ it’s a very predictable doomsday movie even before it’s cinematic release.

    [Reply]

  4. kongkay wrote on Nov 13, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    walau, you’re better than joan lau (once upon a time critic at nst)!

    [Reply]

  5. foongpc wrote on Nov 13, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    Thanks for this review! Still undecided to watch or not, but mostly will watch. Now that my expectation is lowered, I won’t get so easily disappointed! haha!

    The President is black? Well ‘Deep Impact’ also have a black president and that was way before Obama became president!

    I will just watch this movie for the special effects and nothing more. It’s the same with ‘ID4’ – totally ridiculous storyline as well.

    [Reply]

    bongkersz Reply:

    @foongpc, the ‘last’ president is black 😛 that’s the intended humor hehe. Nevermind. Yes, we had black president in those movies you mentioned. Also in 24, my fav series way before Obama become president.

    The special effects are awesome, especially the atom bomb-like explosion. Enjoy your movie!

    [Reply]

  6. foongpc wrote on Nov 13, 2009 at 11:23 pm

    Btw, never sit like what you did in the cinema before! Always sat together with friends. Either together or don’t watch the movie! Haha!

    [Reply]

    bongkersz Reply:

    @foongpc, ehe.. i thought so before, but now that i think of it.. i go to cinema to watch movie, not to be together-gether with my friends haha! unless i need to hold hands or what else.. 😛

    [Reply]

  7. bongkersz wrote on Nov 14, 2009 at 8:18 am

    @kongkay, joan lau? wait, that’s a sarcastic remark or what? haha! so hard to differentiate between sarcasm and genuine praise now.. everyone seems to grow a sarcasm bone now…

    [Reply]

    kongkay Reply:

    that’s a praise… sarcasm not directed at you.

    [Reply]

  8. fara wrote on Nov 22, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    x alang2 nganok. lol!

    but ya oh. just realised after you’ve stated em all.

    and and i’d to sit at the most front row as crap all the time shown was full, till midnight.

    [Reply]

    bongkersz Reply:

    @fara, ai kamek nang sik pernah alang alang mun nganok 😛 mun puji gia juak hahaha! if i sit in front, i would block the view of the people behind with my big head lol

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  9. Corporate Events wrote on Dec 2, 2009 at 11:51 pm

    So what is all this crazy talk? We’ve all heard these doomsday predictions before, we’re still here, and the planet is still here, why is 2012 so important? Well, the Mayan calendar stops at the end of the year 2012

    [Reply]

    bongkersz Reply:

    @Corporate Events, who cares if the world is going to end tomorrow. Like we can do much if it’s really going to happen.

    [Reply]

  10. Jameela wrote on Mar 29, 2010 at 12:35 am

    I look forward to seeing the movie 2012? this weekend. The CGI looked great. Maybe the story and acting won’t be up to par for everyone but the 6 bucks I’ll be paying for the matinee…. well… I think it will be well worth the price for the big special effects alone.

    [Reply]

  11. Frisbee wrote on Jan 29, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    I was tweeting away on twitter trying to find something to cure my boredom – and SPLAT – someone I follow tweeted this post. Now, I am not quite as bored. Thanks for posting nice material. – Frisbee

    [Reply]

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